Monday, April 28, 2008

Eat your pickles...and think of me.

We like pickles at Casa Absentminded. We like our pickles huge and sour. We buy our pickles in gallon jars. Pickles are bargain priced at Sam's Club.

Because we like gargantuan pickles, and because I feel guilty throwing the jars away, I have six dill scented gallon glass jars floating about. I wash the jars, but so far I haven't been able to rid them of their scent. Pickle B.O. It's a sexy smell.

I keep one jar for aquarium cleaning. Dill scented goldfish. Sexy.
Another is serving as an ant farm in the backyard. Dill scented ants. Sexy ants.
Two are serving as containers for coins. One for dill scented pennies and another for dill scented silver change.

Do you know how much all that change adds up to when the jars are full? Over a thousand bucks. That's how much. You can't lift the jars. You know your pickles have been fresh because those jars can hold 100 lbs worth of change and not bust.

The local casino is more than happy to count up our change and give us big bills in return. They don't charge us for this service, but sometimes giving them a tip for putting up with money that smells like a McDonalds is in good taste. Ronald McDonald is not sexy. I know some of you fruity folks think he is. It's Grimace that looks like a marital aid people. Dill scented marital aids...sexy.

Change has bought my family a lot of little luxuries over the years. My vacuum? Bought with pennies. A VCR purchased with nickels back when VCRs were a neato thing to have...and the same with a DVD player that actually had the ability to play MP3s. I purchased one of my two sewing machines with change. Once, when we were especially poor, raiding the change jar purchased a dress to attend a wedding in. I'd just given birth and none of my old dresses fit.

...and now we are funding our next Disneyland vacation entirely with change collected in pickle jars. The youngest is almost three. We figure we've got a couple more years of change collecting and pickle jar collecting. We want him to remember the trip.

Two years will give me time to reconcile myself to the fact that there are no dill scented marital aid shaped characters at Disneyland...

and to sufficiently pickle my brain in yet another jar .

5 comments:

  1. For heaven's sake don't pickle your brain its too full of humour for that.

    Maybe, you should ask George W to introduce a toonie ($2 coin) like we have a Canada. That way you can save up for a trip even faster.

    Erf

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  2. Hi, I just wandered into your blog while browsing and I love this, what a great idea!

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  3. "Dill scented marital aids...sexy."

    I giggled madly! Thank you!

    Too funny. I just rolled up $50 worth of coins last night!

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  4. Hey Becky, you are the household Queen. We love pickles too, sweet ones at our house, but we only buy piddly little jars. I have to say I admire your recycling of the jars. Especially the ant farm. Very, very clever...

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  5. At our house our, um, change, smells like pickled okra. Only problem is you can only buy half a vacuum cleaner with those jars.

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