Thursday, April 17, 2008

It spreads nicely on toast.

Here's a first in the history of The Absent Minded Housewife.

My husband, Justin, he has these little infatuations with women he sees on TV and in movies. I call them tarts. I have written about these tarts and listed them in my right sidebar in a pull down menu. This amuses me.

Now, Justin wants to mess around with my archiving and remove a tart from the list. She has officially turned him off despite having a couple of assets he admires very much.

I say we put it to a vote. I'll let you decide if this tart gets the axe.

Justin once expressed a wistful desire to bathe with Tyra Banks. Like, in the tub, with Mr. Bubble and Mr. Ducky. Hopefully she bathes naked because that would be a bonus.

Justin caught a segment on Tyra's talk show that now has him questioning his attractions and his idea of what a man should be. I'm not sure where this leaves me...have a clip.

(I'm apologizing for the audio on this clip. It's off. Kinda goes with the theme however.)

There have been times where I've been excited about Vaseline. I adore being greased up on occasion. However, I keep my admiration for the stuff in the private realm. There is no need for anyone to know just how much Vaseline makes me feel like I've just been to Disneyland.

Tyra's Vaseline outburst is unseemly. Justin dislikes outbursts. He likes Disneyland, but dislikes being unseemly.

So, does Tyra get the axe? Does she deserve losing her tart status?

I need a glitzy vaseline jar regardless.


  1. Scarier than Oprah, she is.

  2. My 2 year old was in the room when I played this and the louder the clip got the more animated he got...yelling..."STOP!"

  3. I didn't need to play the clip in order to cast my vote to remove her from the tart list. Ugh. I've seen so many stupid things out of this woman it makes me think she's got a cast of, "stupidity writers" helping her along.

    She make me cringe every time she opens her mouth. Away with her!

  4. Off the list. Off, off, off....


  5. Wow. Yeah. Gotta go with Justin on this one. Kick her off.

    Side note: I didn't realize Oprah had started such a fad.

  6. Toss the tart. Totally.

    :) I love alliteration.

  7. Umm, I have been a female among male construction workers to have anything but horribly unprintable things to say after watching that. Rolling around, waving her legs in the air, and screaming for vaseline ?

  8. thumbs down on this talentless blow-hole.

  9. Her show is godawful. But I'd still hit it.

  10. If she stood still long enuf and didnt speak she could still be a tart but all that movement and hysteria over vaseline, maybe even i couldnt even handle that. Then again, if i was to wear your french maid outfit, i might still be game for Tyra. Its really up to Justin, if he doesnt want her as a tart so be it,,,get rid of her.

    As far as his seems (or seams) go, cant u check those before he leaves the house. You dont want anything hang out on him, or do you?



Absent Minded Archives