Ahhhh...this week of debauchery has come to a close. My head hurts. My back hurts. When I bend my arm a certain way it hurts. I'm covered in all manner of kissable boo-boos.
Yet, I can claim this week as a success because:
- I did not become impregnated.
- I did not completely shave my head and I still have eyebrows.
- I didn't pierce any unconventional parts of my body.
- My lower back is tattoo free.
- I didn't form an advantageous relationship with a pimp.
- I did not expose my body to any gelatin desserts.
- I did not endanger any gerbils.
- My saran wrap has remained in it's drawer in the kitchen.
- I didn't pick up any colon destroying parasites.
- and I still don't know what a police car looks like from the inside.
The goal for this entire week was to flatten my posterior and I managed that spectacularly. My butt is now a flapping curtain of flesh hanging down to the backs of my knees.
My coccyx hurts.
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