Monday, April 21, 2008

I'd like to buy the world a Coke.

Oh Spring! The earth awakens and a housewife's fancy turns to love. All this green in the air makes me feel so mushy.

C'mere, gimme a hug.

None of that side to side, avoid touching anything meaningful hugs. Gimme a hug with substance. Gimme a hug that just stops short of wrapping your legs around me.

Today I'm more than willing to spread around the physical contact, despite the germs. Here's a list of the folks I think need a hug.

Condoleezza Rice
Wilford Brimley
Mrs. Crazy, who I often see in the grocery store
This lady
This dude (Thanks Dick, have a hug!)
Tom Colicchio
DJ Lance Rock
Jocelyn Wildenstein
Michelle Duggar
The Pope, because he looks like he's a giggler.
and Juan Valdez.

It's a good thing I've been properly sterilized because, ooooh, wouldn't I be in trouble!

I just want to hug Condoleezza, not have her baby.


  1. I will hug Condi; I'll hug Wilford; I'll even hug the Crazy Lady from the store cuz I bet she's dressed. Crazy people need love, too. But "This Lady", and "This Dude" ... forget it. I don't want that package anywhere near me. Now Tom Colicchio? Hug him twice and rub myself all over him. He's a chunk of hot man meat, isn't he? The rest of the group is all yours, darlin'. You just hug away but I'm not getting myself anywhere near them. I'd be afraid to hug Michelle Duggar because even though I'm a woman I think I'd knock her up. And I don't think the pope accepts hugs. He's just not that sort of dude. Juan Valdez ... maybe. He might make me a great cup of coffee and I could use that.

  2. We might need a long description of exactly what u are wearing first before we give u a big hug, lol,,,kidding,,, hugsss Becky. Now get busy and bake an apple pie.


  3. Just remember that Paul (This dude) has a lot of great books in his bookstore in Quartzsite, Arizona. When you get there you can purchase some good books and have your photo taken alongside a unique individual. You do have some real winners here although not many that I'd like to get a hug from. I would like a hug from you, though.

  4. I just found your blog via Dooce and this is hilarious. I am totally a side hugger. Not a fan of hugs. But I'd like to shake mother nature's hand. :)


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