Monday, April 14, 2008

Take this job and shove it

I asked my husband yesterday afternoon if I could write a post that could possibly shatter our marriage. Afterall, I didn't want to be insensitive to the better nature of my husband in my admission below. He's a nice guy. Justin understands that this hurts me more than it hurts him and has given me permission to do what I need to do.

I have feelings I just can't hide anymore. Deep feelings. Deep tingling feelings.

I love you Mike Rowe, host of Dirty Jobs.

I love you, I do!

And here I am Mike, completely vulnerable, naked in the blogosphere, pledging my unwavering love to you. I don't care if you're unshowered, or that you once were a QVC salesman, or if you've got crabs. You make me gooey and that makes me love you.

Let me be your housewife, Mike. I am perfectly willing to hand wash loads upon loads of your soiled laundry, in a freezing mountain stream, using a big rock as washboard, all whilst singing like Snow White and fighting off cutesy cartoon birds. You are worth the cracked bleeding hands that would cause Mike. After that, you'd be amazed at what I can do with a with an old sock, a bottle of vinegar and a teaspoon of baking soda...wink wink.

Oh Mike Rowe, you cow probing bowhunk! Why am I so inexplicably drawn? Oh that's right, it's because you don't mind putting your back into it when the situation calls for it.

Sigh...unrequited love is a bitch kitty. It feels so freeing to get all of that out though.

Justin, please don't be upset. When you get home, I want you to put your hardhat on and put your back into it. The situation calls for it.

8 comments:

  1. I'd go into debt on a new Ford truck if he came with it.

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  2. Um, Becky,
    you could have earned your family 500,000 bucks by holding this information in until you went on that crazy lie-detector show!!!!! Jeeze, where's your head? You could be rich. You pawned your tarty life for nothing but happy readers. PS that guy is cute. Witty, too. I can see why he moves you.

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  3. Who is he? Remember, Justin has one of the toughest jobs in the world, being a high school teacher. And I'll bet that he does it for even less renumeration in pay than this guy does. It sounds like you already have a winner. (I know this is all in fun.)

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  4. even I like this guy and I'm not Gay...I just checked.

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  5. Oh yeah, LUUUUVV Mike Rowe! There is just something about him...whew!!

    ROFL at Kathie's comment.

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  6. Becky, thats real nice.

    Mike Rowe

    ReplyDelete

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