Thursday, June 05, 2008

Spay or neuter your pets, but drown your cats.

In the interest of fairness, I asked my dad if I could interview him this morning. He was agreeable.

Becky: I asked Mom personal questions. Can I ask you personal questions?
Becky's Dad: I don't have to answer nothin'. They don't know who I am.

Becky: What do you think of Mom's cat?
Becky's Dad: Damn cat.

Becky: That's some foul language Dad...
Becky's Dad: I guess you're probably right. The situation warrants it.

Becky: So you dislike cats?
Becky's Dad: They are a pain in the butt.

Becky: So it's butt and not ass?
Becky's Dad: Yup.

Becky: What don't you like about Mom's cat?
Becky's Dad: You mean cats in general?

Becky: Sure.
Becky's Dad: They're very demanding.

Becky: Do they ask for your money?
Becky's Dad: Won't eat nothin' but expensive cat food.

Becky: Is that you're eating cereal this morning instead of pancakes?
Becky's Dad: Took all my money.

Becky: Mom's cat is real old though, huh?
Becky's Dad: Uh-huh.

Becky: Do you have any thoughts you want to leave my readers and other hangers on with?
Becky's Dad: About?
Becky: Anything.
Becky's Dad: I made a mistake allowing cats in this house. Don't do it.

Becky: Because they take up your money?
Becky's Dad: Because they mess in the flower bed, and yowl at the door, and they won't get up off Ma's lap so she can make me something to eat.

Becky: You know, if the cat was outside all the time it would mess in your flower beds all the more.
Becky's Dad: That's true.

Becky's Dad: ...But then there's the cat hair.

Becky's Dad: ...Cats belong outside.....

Becky's Dad: .....I think I'd rather choose the lesser of two evils and have him outside crappin' in the flower beds more.

Becky's Dad: ...I ain't a cat person....

Dad's immune to the power of kitten. I wouldn't stare long if I were you.


  1. I like both of your parents! Sounds like you absorbed a lot of attitude from the both of 'em.

    and, shhhhhh, I'll bet your dad is a secret cat lover!! When he's not around go check yesterday's clothes for cat hair. Bet he holds the cat in his lap when he's sure no one's lookin'!

  3. Funny your post would be about cats. Suddenly there's this tortoiseshell cat hanging round my house . . .

  4. I tend to agree with Dad,,, take our cat,,,, please,,,he is blind and cant tell the difference between night and day. So at 4AM he just jumps on me, since i am the lightest sleeper, when he wants to go outside. Since he is blind we cant put him out at that hour because we cant see the other animals and dont really want to be up at 4AM filling our cats needs!


  5. Go Dad! I was pretty ok with cats, until I married a man who is HORRIBLY allergic to them. Now I see them for what they are, because they will find the person who will be rendered most miserable by their presence and PLAGUE him. I have seen it.

  6. Hey Becky,
    this is hysterical. Funny how people either are or aren't cat people. No inbetween. Your dad's hilarious.

  7. My Dad appreciates all your commentary...except he doesn't want a damned blind cat.


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