Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Watch the bouncing ball...

Hi.

I have to do laundry.

Before I involve myself in starch and stains, I must announce the winnah of the Gert story!


After much consultation with a cup of coffee and my three year old, I've decided the prize must go to Debra from Debrapants. Here is her story:

Gertie grew up in a small Georgia town, falling in love with her gym teacher and getting knocked up by him. She wanted to keep the baby, but he talked her into giving it up. She never recovered emotionally from that grevious loss and decided when under the influence that she would give "it" up- and often. She became a Madame for an overpriced brothel in the middle of Kansas where her highest paying customer is a man with 6 teeth named Timmy and her best money-maker is, believe it or not, a red-headed, 3-balled talent named Kenny. I cannot confirm nor deny that it is the same Kenny in your other photo, but Gertie might be able to if you catch her on one of her good days after bribing her with Angel Food Cake topped with mixed berries and a can of Natty Ice.

I scored entries on a variety of factors. Extra points were given for referring back to Kenny. Kenny is just that awesome.

For Deb's efforts I've promised a fabulous prize, which is neither a paperweight or a Wii. If Debra would be so kind as to use the nifty little contact link in the left sidebar and provide me with a mailing address, which I will not share with anyone, even under torture, I will be sending her a pair of....


Boobs. The bouncy kind. As seen in my embarrassing YouTube above.

Don't worry Deb, they will be new and still sealed in their original packaging. I wouldn't feign to send you a pair that had already been sitting on my chest. You might not consider preworn boobs much of a prize...or would you? That's got to be against some kind of health codes or postal regulations.


Sexy.

Honorable mention goes to Practically Joe from Practically Wisdom for supplying a Kenny story. Kenny, again, is just that awesome.


***


Again, my husband and I are shoving the hoard into our fabulous minivan and taking a jaunt away from home. We are obliged every once in a while to prove to our extended families that we are not dead. Unlike our last trip into Happy Valley, in which I posted interviews with my mom and my dad, we are not taking a computer with us. Camping is on the itinerary. There will be no emailing whilst sitting on a campground pit toilet.

Just so things around here won't be sparse, I will be reposting a few of my past entries that I think are notable...or at least sorta well written. Until I get back next week I'll thank you now for placating me when it concerns my literary genius.

Now...onto the laundry. No one placates me when it comes to my laundry.

6 comments:

  1. I've watched that video three times already. Do you think I have latent desires? Or is it just the catchy background music?

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  2. You did not tell me to mention Kenny, GD it. YOU CHANGED THE RULES. Hmph. Gert was a tramp. I knew it.

    Camping sucks (strictly my opinion). Bugs annoy me. Try it in a Motel 6! Much better.

    I emailed you awhile back. You did not answer. I am hopelessly, forever, unendingly injured. Why? WHY? WHY?

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  3. But I did answer! I did! About party stuff right? I wrote a right long email about it! Let's see if I can find it.

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  4. hee! I only watched it twice... but I am considering buying a pair!

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  5. Thanks for the "Honorable Mention" on the Kenny Story ... But did you have to state it right under the pic of the guy with the fake boobies.

    "PEOPLE, HONEST, THAT IS NOT ME!"
    (mine are real)

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  6. Aww, I feel so lucky! I almost missed this blog completely, as I was computer-less for a few days (it was very traumatizing). I'll be sending you my info soon. I can't wait to show off the boobs to my parents, husband, and siblings.

    ReplyDelete

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