Tuesday, July 01, 2008

We all live in a yeller submarine.

I'm watching TV. Or rather, Justin is watching TV, desperately clutching the remote, while I catch bits and pieces of programming.

He just whizzed past the Home Shopping Network which was featuring a "purse party" this afternoon.

(Fine...Justin stopped there at my request.)

Needless to say, the purse party was not as perverted as I imagined it would be. There we're no noise makers or male strippers. I was disappointed.

Before Justin clicked off to programming just as useless, I caught a look at one of the monstrosities they invited to the purse party.

My god, I need one of those!

(And it'll be the lightest purse I own because this example of abject beauty costs 375 bucks.)

Justin says it looks like a queer alligator. The description says it's popcorn effect lambskin. So, it's a lamb drag queening as an alligator. Fabulous.

This sure beats my 5 dollar deeply discounted Kmart purse all to hell. I only own one purse. It's black with brown accents, so that goes with all my outfits right? Especially when my outfits consist of jeans and whatever blouse is clean and mostly wrinkle free. Does popcorn effect leather go with wrinkle free? I dunno.

The only downside to this purse is that there are no outside pockets. I like to have a place to keep my chapstick handy. I don't like to riffle through the contents of my purse when I'm having a chapped lips emergency. Chapstick always sinks to the bottom with the lost pennies and the restaurant wrapped toothpicks. It's sordid.

But then, if I'm paying 375 bucks for a purse, it had damned well come with a case of chapstick. I don't like feeling suckered you know.


  1. THAT, m'dear, it the scabbiest bit of lambskin I have EVER clapped eyes on... and I grew up near the rez, so that's sayin' something!

  2. That's not a pretty purse.

    Having said that .... GET A SUMMER PURSE. Black/brown are not summer colours, woman.

  3. I didn't realize that I needed a summer purse versus a winter purse.

    Do I need to keep my chapstick extra warm in the winter?

  4. That bag has the worst case of genital warts I've ever seen.

    Don't ask me how I know this.

  5. You need a summer purse. Yes. As for your chapstick, what's more important is not to let it get extra hot in the summer. That crap melts in a craptacular manner and runs all over the place.

  6. the purse hurts my berries...that's a bad sign.

  7. What if I like my chapstick runny Meggy...ya ever think of that? Huh?

  8. You can have runny chapstick. But you're going to need a ziplock to carry it.

  9. You'd be amazed at what I can do with a ziplock bag full of melted chapstick...

  10. EEW. I can't believe thety killed a lamb for that . . .oh wait, I lived through eighties fashion (? Turquoise leather fringe ?). Sigh.


Absent Minded Archives