Friday, August 01, 2008

...and your mother goes around the corner and she licks it up.

Where I live there is no TV reception, at least when it comes to the old school way of broadcasting television and not this new fangled digital television. That's why, here at Casa Absentminded, we are loyal users of satellite TV.

Satellite TV affords us many basic cable channels we would not see otherwise. There are channels for women, and for men, and for home decorating. I can watch evangelists preach the word 24/7.

Or I could watch the G4 network. I could watch their newest reality show entitled Hurl!.

It's about vomit.

Yay!

(Evangelists and vomit...more similar than dissimilar.)

"Hurl! combines speedeating with intense physical challenges all designed to shake up the competitors." says the G4 site.

In other words, eat a buttload of egg salad and then hop on a playground merry go round and take a spin. The first to hurl loses.

I can't tell you how charmed I am by this idea. G4 tells me that I'll publicly decry the show but I'll watch it in secret. I'll tell G4 that they are full of beans. I barely tolerated going to the website.

Just as charming and full of beans is the news of the presidential campaign this morning. Apparently neither Obama or McCain can pin down who first introduced negativity into their presidential runs.

Opening paragraph:
Trading charges anew over who was guilty of injecting race into the presidential debate, a subject unlikely to fade away, the campaigns of John McCain and Barack Obama also blamed each other Friday for its increasingly negative tone.

(Evangelists and politicians and vomit...more similar than dissimilar.)

Scene opens: Obama and McCain, each dressed in Osh Kosh B'gosh overalls, hop on opposite sides of the playground merry go round. Both have a foot off the side pumping the ride into a fast spin and huge lollipops in one grubby fist.

Obama: You did it!
McCain: No, you did it!
Obama: You weren't nice first! You called me bad names!
McCain: Nuh uh! You called me bad names first!
Obama: Cuz you was being mean!
McCain: I was not! You were! I'm telling my Mom!
Obama: Fine, tell her! I'm not a'scared of her!
McCain: Fine, I will! And my Dad will beat up your Dad.
Obama: You're a poohead!
McCain: You're a fartknocker!
Obama: See if you get any votes.
McCain: I'll get a million gazillion votes, you'll see!

And then one of them hurls. End scene.


This is why I watch the Food Network instead of Fox News.

6 comments:

  1. My understanding of Hurl, which may be wrong, was that the last non-vomiter was the winner. So, let's say there are five contestants in a round. That means the first four people to barf lose, and the one remaining non-hurler wins a crappy $1,000. I could maybe get on board with this show if they just eliminated the first barfer in each round, but they're holding out for all but one person to puke on camera. Which...is just gross.

    Nobody much throws up on Wipeout, but there's a lot of bodies bouncing off giant rubber balls or falling off a precarious surface into water or a pit of mud. Mr. Tangerine and I laugh ourselves silly watching the show.

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  2. If you like Wipeout you'll like Ninja Warrior...which is also on G4. That's how I know about this Hurl! show. I kept making my kids switch off the TV during the commercials while watching Ninja Warrior.

    We like that Banzuke show too.

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  3. Holy HELL that's an amazing concept for a show. Don't know whether to laugh or just hurl.

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  4. Wasn't there a pretty recent NBC prime-time show called Chunks? No ... Up Chuck? No ... uhm? ... Maybe I'm wrong.

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  5. You sure have a different TV watching schedule than mine! Although I agree with you that much of the political (stuff) belongs in that same category.

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  6. This is why I'm voting for McCain.

    "Poohead" is such a negative term.

    I know that McCain called him a fartknocker back...

    ..but Obama started it.

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