Friday, August 29, 2008

I gots milk.

A long time ago I asked my readers and other hangers on what these were:

Many of you got a cow vibe and guessed they were udders. That would be correct. You can verify this by squeezing.

But why two udders? I've been told that cows only have one udder...unless they are radioactive super cows...because those cows have udders all over the damned place. If Hugh Hefner were a bull, he'd have a harem of radioactive cows. They would hold parties, splashing in the grotto and playing volleyball on the lawn. Everyone would watch their teats bounce delightfully. Bessie, she sure can spike, uh-huh.

So, why two udders?

Because humans have two udders.

You can verify humans have two udders by squeezing.


  1. the looks of it, it must be FREEZING where you are.

  2. They look like hands...for squeezing back.

  3. Ah, that's how I verify most female humans ;)

  4. friggin' hilarious dude....


  5. Good luck selling that outfit, lol

  6. The University of Idaho has cows with windows in their sides so that you can observe their digestion process. I haven't met any humans with that feature yet.

    I think you had better warn your sons as they grow up that they had better be very careful which humans they try verifying the two udder exam by squeezing them. I understand that at least some females don't like to have them squeezed except by the right person(s).

  7. Is this part of the new Chick-Fil-A ad campaign?


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