Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Morning Minutia X

I now have a giant hole in my kitchen linoleum. It's big enough to claim that my kitchen is shabby chic.

My next door neighbor is a grumpy grumpy woman. I'm considering baking her a big plate of brownies and leaving them on her porch with a lovely cheerful card. However, the brownies will be chock full of methylene blue, which will make her pee party colored.

I need to find more reasons you work the word "twat" into conversations.

I'm ready to get my presidential debate on. Nobody had better call my house on Sept. 26th. I'm busy, yo.

I cut up my son's outgrown plaid boxer shorts into quilt squares. Is that bad?

Quit lookin' at my bum, you bum looker.

Is it a requirement that the writers and producers of modern children's television programming be hooked on meth? I think so. Jim Henson, I miss you.

The only reason I have not purchased the new computer game "Spore" developed by the same people who made "The Sims" is to torture my children. When they tell stories to their grandchildren about how hard they had it, not getting their Spore on will top off their old people ranting nicely. Then want a game when I have a big hole in my floor? Yeah, right!

When I walked out of the grocery store to my fabulous minivan late last Wednesday night, I spotted a very young couple engaged in something that required the driver's side door be open and the young man's pants undone. I live out in the middle of nowhere and they can't find a less well lit place to park? Kids sure are lazy these days.

I have disco fever.

All the minutia you can handle without the bothersome calories.


  1. We have the Spore Creature Creator... is hours of fun for the whole family and it cost $10. I guess the full game costs more.

    The drivers side door had to be open? Huh. Not very flexible for young folks.

  2. I thought you were gonna put something in the brownies to make her HAPPY . . ..

  3. I don't even know where to buy anything to put in the brownies to make her happy...


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