Friday, November 14, 2008

Has anyone done a study on how long it takes polar fleece fabrics to break down in a landfill?

I'm throwing away the polar fleece pajama pants I'm wearing. They're baby blue printed with polar bears on purple sleds and several inches too short for my long legs. They're my sexy pants.

Alrighty, obviously I did not buy these pants at Victoria's Secret. Hell, I don't buy anything at Victoria's Secret. I'm not spending $30 dollars on a scant strip of fabric that rests right against the most unhygenic part of my body. If I wanted to place something right back there on purpose it better either be disposable or free.

Anyway, out to the trash they go. I keep pulling out hairs that have worked themselves into the fleece. It's a charming trait with this type of fabric.

And the last hair I pulled? From the inside of these sexy pants? It wasn't mine. At the very least I know whose it was and where it was shed from. It's not a suspicious mystery hair. Still, gah, gross.

I can't be the only one who is deceived by new plushy soft polar fleece pants and ends up having to throw them away because it starts looking like the fourth member of ZZ Top. At the local landfill there is a pile of metal appliances, another pile of car batteries and oil cans and then there must be a large pile of hair ridden polar fleece.

This leaves me with having to replace my sexy pants. I've pulled some blue flannel out of my stash, printed with rubber ducks and soap bubbles, and I'm going to sew up a pair of the proper length.

I can go to the grocery store in my rubber duck pants, hair free, and enjoy my newfound sense of dignity.

6 comments:

  1. You have the strangest wardrobe.

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  2. I didn't know they made pants out of polar fleece. The only thing I recall seeing made of them is jackets and they actually seem to do a pretty good job of that.

    It does seem to be fairly common now days for women to go shopping in pajama pants and most are probably flannel. Still, to me, it looks odd.

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  3. Dignity? MAWAhahahahahaaaa!

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  4. I agree with dick, shopping in PJs does look odd. What would happen if i guy did that and something fell out of the fly,,,,yeap he would be put in the slammer! Equality eh!

    And NO, i for one havent done a study on how long it takes polar fleece fabrics to break down. Perhaps u can research that and get back to us.

    Erf

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  5. I've never shopped in pajama pants, really. Though, I have gone out in my big fuzzy lambskin slippers and not realized it.

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  6. Going out in slippers we call that "pulling a Violet," after my mother-in-law. She did that a few times and got teased by my wife.

    My time will come to do that when they find me a place in the old folks home.

    Erf

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