Monday, November 03, 2008

I promise not to lie about my weight.

Thanks to Blogger's post scheduling feature, you get a nice new Monday post whilst I jaunt 120 miles away from my desk. I'm at the DMV. I have to renew my driver's license. It's the law that I have to show up in person every 8 years.

You could ask why in the hell the powers that be don't build a closer DMV but that's like asking why dogs eat their own turds. It's long, and complicated and by now only having one DMV in the county is a filthy habit.

You can also ask why I put this off to around the time of the month that I'm prone to get a juicy pre-menstrual pimple.

I want to give the camera my best blue steel look, but I know I'll just come off looking annoyed. Since they won't let me wear my second place award winning cow costume I'll have to settle for one of three distinctive looks which will minimize the size and redness of my pimple.

Lunchtime? Ooooh nummy time!

Woo, boy, that double bacon chili cheeseburger sure does repeat on ya.

Toilet...need toilet...shouldn't have eaten that cheeseburger, no sir.

Notice any pimples in those facial expressions? I know I don't. Works like magic!

I just hope that if I ever get pulled over my ID doesn't make me look guilty.


  1. Somehow I had pictured you as prettier.

  2. I think I know where you are going, and it's 120 miles of nothing! I am so sorry, and on a Monday to boot.

  3. With your captions, Bushy makes me laugh instead of cry.

  4. My license had said 125 for years, and that was a damn lie. So when I renewed my license this summer, I figured I'd up it to 132, which is my aspirational, I-could-get-there-with-cardio weight, splitting the difference between 125 and my current weight. The guy behind the counter said "It's your birthday! Let's call it 130."

  5. W is your pimple huh,,, i think a lot of americans can say that.


  6. Aw, that cow costume sounded ideal!

  7. Thanks for reminding me that I have to go to the DMV. Because of some loser who works there, I am apparently listed as living in Vancouver, WA. WTF?


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