Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I voted...was it good for you?

Have you voted yet? Have ya? Have ya?

You readers and other hanger's on get another pre-scheduled post today. I've planned to be off voting at the time I usually write quality potty worded posts for you.

I scheduled yesterday's post as well because I was at the DMV getting my fill of Bureaucracy for Dummies. My new driver's license photo was not enhanced by a two hour wait with my three year old child or listening to a angry petulant man, who drove just as far as I did, complain that no one would allow him to get in the front of the line.

Since I'm writing this post the night before, I figure y'all can help me go over my sample ballot. It's 18 pages of pure democracy that I'm holding in my trembling touch screen ready fingers.

The first two pages instruct me on how to use a touch screen. They tell me to INSERT the voter cared, TOUCH anywhere on the box that contains my preferred candidate and then to CONTINUE to the next page by touching the arrow. The emphasis is theirs. Nevada state wants me, a moral upright citizen, to go into a private voting booth to INSERT, TOUCH and CONTINUE. I'm beginning to think that the government should provide me with a sanitary sheet to vote on. Voting is lurid.

Now the candidates (suckas!)

My first vote is for President and Vice President. Right to the point. My vote counts.

My next votes are for state offices...which I don't give a flip about. There is not a campaign notice for any of these people in my town. Not in the papers, no signs in the yards, no news...nada. The opinion of the citizens residing my town doesn't matter. In fact, our town barely exists to the likes of Vegas, Reno and Carson City. So, I'm skipping it.

My next votes are for county offices. A similar dynamic to above. They don't campaign here. I'm not voting blind. Skip skip and skip.

Next are city offices. I'm voting for my buddies. They give me candy. They promised that all my wildest dreams will come true.

Now onto the amendments to the Nevada Constitution, a document which I have never read. However, my husband was required to take a test on this document for Nevada school teaching certification and he tells me that it reads much like our national constitution. I trust the man. He wouldn't fudge on a document that's so present in the life of every Nevada resident, snort. So...Yes on redefining residential voting definitions. Why not on high appraising public use property values. Sounds good on redefining tax exemptions, and a HELL NO on allowing the legislature rights to appeal taxes without a public vote on certain aircraft components.

(Stinkin' aircraft component lobbyists...always got their chubby fingers in our jars of peanut butter.)

I sure hope I get a sticker after I vote. I got one last time and I put it on my chore chart. Good job! Gold star!

One more thought on touch screen voting. Resist the urge to wipe a booger on the screen over the name of the candidate you dislike. It's a passive aggressive way to get votes for your side, mmmkay?

5 comments:

  1. Ooh, you're tricky! My lame-ass sticker from last week says "I voted early". What the !#@$%? I can't believe they printed special stickers for that. Is it another weird Utah thing, or was it nationwide? I wanna know.

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  2. Nope i didnt vote and they wouldnt let me even if i showed up to vote,,,nice of them EH.

    Becky, are u that easy, lol. If i give u candy will u make all my wildest dreams come true :P. (i am laughing so hard i can hardly type)

    Its good that u went out to vote. Rumour has it that some ppl got Starbucks Coffee or Ben and Jerry's ice cream just for showing up. Wouldnt that be better than a sticker?

    Erf

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  3. I got a sticker too! I got a sticker too!

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  4. uhhh do you know how much I've missed you???

    missed you so much

    http://omgfree.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. missed you....glad to be back..obvious hint: bowl of jerrys

    ReplyDelete

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