Thursday, December 11, 2008

Grab a shovel...

As part of my new HOA duties, I've offered up my fourteen year old son and his un-work-challenged body for the cause of general maintenance.

Which means the HOA is willing to pay him ten bucks an hour to pick up trash, rake leaves, and weed around the fences. It's the kind of labor that God created 14 year old boys for.

Naturally he's thrilled about his new income and that one hour of work will buy him ten Burger King cheeseburgers. I've threatened that if he attempts to do the job half assed that I won't report his hours and he'll have to do the work anyway. No cheeseburgers for nosepickers.

Yesterday afternoon my son and I took a tour of the block so we could make a list of what could be done in the winter months only to find that some of my community partners have forgotten that their mothers aren't around to pick up after them...

...because they are just tossing their trash over the fences into areas that aren't so easily visible from the street, including their dog's doodies, which has resulted in no small mountain of festering post Alpo goodness.

Good lord...

On top of this, because of a new state law, we're required to raise HOA dues. In these times of economic difficulties no one will be especially happy about this. I will get complaints. It's easier to complain to me than to write a formal letter to a state senator in the big city. You can't explain or document enough that the law was made to protect their home owning association asses.

So, I am tempted to blame the increase in fees on doodie removal. It's a bio-hazardous job.

To which my son, after performing, won't want to eat the Burger King cheeseburgers he's so honestly earned, alrighty Fido McFidoson?

It's good for his character regardless.


  1. You know what's funny about this? You sound surprised that people are leaving their dog doodies out there, AND that they're going to complain about raising HOA rates.

    WHY are you surprised? Join me in my misanthropy.

  2. I'm not surprised that they'll complain, I'm just a little nonplussed that they'll whine after being so nasty, lol.

    Maybe I should take a photo of Doodie Hill. I mean, this are the same people that are upset because people are putting their trash cans out in sight from the street because that'll lower property values. least they are USING their trash cans.

  3. Learn from Judge Judy....Take pics! Evidence is always the No! defense. No! offense! Oh, hell. Good luck with that.

  4. Catch the dog walker in the act and deliver the said deposit to their front door.

    Tell your son to join a union cuz he needs more money and benefits if he is going to handle bio-hazardous material. That wont put the HOA fees up anymore now will it ;)



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