Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Time to buy a new box of tampons...

But I wanted to throw my shoes at President Bush!

Though, it's never occurred to me to throw anything at President Bush before. Not my shoes. Not my underpants. Not my husband's military or veteran's records.

Throwing something at him just strikes me as infinitely sensible.

I'm not throwing my leather Chuck Taylors at the man. I have my limits.

Now that the election is over and our Dubya will be leaving office, I'm at a loss to who I can openly declare a "twat". Those are huge shoes to fill, the title of Twat, since George Bush's terms are over. A replacement should not be considered lightly.

(And I hope to God it doesn't take two years of campaigning and discussion and debating to find a new twat. My heart couldn't take it.)

I've got to give President Bush his dues though. He's speedy! He's got reflexes! Not only has he dodged shoes, he's admirably withstood millions of people around the world calling him a twat for eight years without so much as a whine or a whimper.

And that takes a pretty hefty set of boxers my friends.

If you, my readers and other hangers on, have any candidates for a new twat in chief, feel free to nominate that person here. Party lines are unimportant. The new twat doesn't even have to be involved in politics at all.

To be fair the new twat must be living and must not be a serial killer or just any Joe Sixpack.

Throw your shoes...game on.


  1. OMG, too easy. At first I was going to say Sarah Twatin. Whip me up a salmon, would ya? But now, no ... it's gotta be Rod Blagojevich. Anyone wanna kick into his defense fund?

  2. I gotta speak up for my homeboy, Rod Blagojetwat. One of his nicknames has been G-Rod, and G-Rod is...a D-bag. And a Twat.

    Sadly, I think he'll fade from view soon, so this Twat doesn't have legs.

  3. Ottis Toole, but he is now dead so i guess he doesnt qualify. He isnt good enuf to be even called a twat more like scum.

    I will see if i can think of anyone else that might qualify.


  4. Ok, how about Bernard Madoff. He made everyone search the internet to find out why a Ponzi scheme is called a Ponzi scheme, lol.


  5. Dammit, now I have to go search the internets to find out why a Ponzi scheme is called a Ponzi scheme.

  6. I was thinking Madoff too...

    A Ponzi scheme is just a fancy pyramid scheme. It's Amway for the upper class.

  7. I knew what a Ponzi Scheme is. I needed to know why it was called that!

  8. Named after Charles Ponzi, an italian immigrant, who got people to pay him over 9 million in 1919 in what he touted as an investment business.

    He's dead, so he can't be the twat.

  9. Ponzi scheme? I've been thinking 'Fonzie scheme.'

    I considered joining one of these thinking I could bang Pinky Tuscadero.

    Now I just want my fucking money back.

  10. I wouldn't mind getting Fonzied.

  11. A new twat of his level? You're optimistic if you think that's going to come along in less than 2 years.


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