Thursday, January 15, 2009

Feeling a draft

Since receiving my new longlegged jeans in the mail I have been riding high on a wave of denim bliss. It's an impressive thing to walk around in pants that fully cover one's lily white ankle skin.

Before Christmas I ripped a hole in the bum of one of my new pair. That is what happens when you scoot across the floor while you are installing a lower closet rod and run into the sharp corner of your level. You also rip a hole right into your bum, which mars your lily white bum skin with a purple scar.

I patched my bum and my jeans, but obviously you can't wear that pair to tea parties anymore. And you certainly can't go pantless. It's uncouth.

I asked my brother in law, who graduated from denim university and now works in clothing retail, to pick me up a pair of the longlegged jeans in the brand he sells even though they cost a bit more. He's loathe to look at my ankles.

What I didn't know was that these jeans were of a cut that would highlight my lily white asscrack.

Not that I have a huge asscrack. It's a perfectly average sized asscrack. I keep it clean and moisturized. I'm just not used to wearing low rise low waisted jeans or brandishing about my bum despite what you might have heard. I've made quite a show thus far of wearing jeans that are kinda Mom jeans but not quite Mom jeans since I was 12 years old even if they were too short. That's when I grew baby making hips.

When I wear these jeans I feel liberated? I feel ten years younger?

I know...I FEEL LIKE I'VE NEVER GOTTEN A STRETCHMARK IN MY LIFE!




Shuddup and let me sit with this fantasy a minute.




Alrighty, I'm done. Quit looking at my bum you bum looker.

8 comments:

  1. You never post pictures of the good stuff.

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  2. yeah, why no pic, i tend to agree with gina too much eh!

    "clean and moisturized",,,why would that remind me of apple pie??

    Erf

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  3. Still pondering why you'd install a shower closet rod on your bathroom floor...

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  4. I didn't install one on the bathroom floor. I installed a lower closet rod in my son's closet, lol. So the three year old can get to his clothes.

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  5. Of course with cheese :))

    Erf

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  6. I love those ass crack showing jeans. That's all thats in my enormous closet. Low rise is GOOD!

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  7. I love those ass crack showing jeans. That's all thats in my enormous closet. Low rise is GOOD!

    ReplyDelete

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