Friday, January 16, 2009

Sit down in my thinkun' chair and thunk and thunk and thunk

I am looking into stimulating the economy by buying a new sofa.

Because, my old sofa, which 6 years ago was my new sofa, looks like this after being exposed to my three boys.


I want a utilitarian couch. Something with low arms, which you can vacuum under, and has no pieces that will disconnect to be used to make a fort. I want it to be water, milk, soda, juice, pee, poop and vomit resistant. I want it to not smell like feet.

This couch doesn't need to make a statement about my entire identity and my belief in God by way of upholstery. All my family needs is a new and less destroyed place to park their butts.

I am seriously considering buying futons. Which can be WASHED. The mattresses can be taken into the backyard and sprayed down with a hose. Hell, if I buy the right model, I can take that bastard whole to the car wash and get it real clean. And waxed.

Futons have downsides though. The biggest one is that they are FUTONS. Eff You Tons.

Cheaping out is an option past a futon. I could go dorm room chic and just cover my existing monstrosity with a king sized fleece blanket printed with a fantasy motif. Fairies and rainbows. It'll be cuddly and precious.

And if it's precious, my boys might stay the hell away from it.


  1. we had futons as living room furniture for a while. it wasn't that bad. they actually make some really nice wood ones attractive yet not as costly as a sofa.

    two years ago we replaced said futons with a sofa and loveseat which now, thanks to the childrens, looks much like the above picture.

  2. What? No cum stains on the couch. Man! You've been married too long, lol.

  3. Not too long ago we replaced our lazy boy style one which was very comfy. I tended to fall asleep on it 8 out of every 10 nights. When u sat in it and raised your feet, the cat had a place to run and hide from the kids. Only problem is that after years of going up and down it sort of wore out and fell apart (it must have been a male couch).

    One other draw back is that the kids could actual have used it is a fort but didnt.

    The upholstery was scotched guarded when it arrived and that allowed all the messes to be cleaned up. If you go for scotch guard treatment make sure they do it in the factory and not at your house cuz the kids might not react too well to the fumes.

    The new one isnt as comfy and i think its going to last for too long. Now where am i going to sleep?


  4. The one I had was supposed to be scotch guarded. Hahahaha, right.

  5. i would definitely go for the precious blanket. and leave it on until they're at least college bound.
    you can donate it to them and replace the precious blanket with a wolf hound motif blanket.

  6. How about plastic blow up barbie type furniture. That worked well for my barbies in 86. Perhaps for you? ?? loll

    cute blog


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