Monday, February 02, 2009

The Kitchen Sink

No, I did not watch the Superbowl. Thanks for asking. I had some passing awareness that the Steelers were playing but I had no clue against whom. When I learned it was the Cardinals, I wondered, just like Jon Stewart, when the NFL got some Cardinals. I was under some misconception that those birds played Baseball. Meh, don't watch that sport either.

The last time I watched any professional championship sporting event was the NBA championship games in 1998. The Jazz vs the Bulls. It goes beyond my memory to why Justin and I were compelled to watch. We were probably channel surfing and got sucked in because those games were competitive and interesting. There may have been nothing on A&E.

Instead of playing couch potato we took the family to the big city to enjoy the emptiness of the retail environment.

We chose a mom and pop bohemian dive for lunch. It was not empty. It was stuffed full of folks who also couldn't give a rat's ass about football. There was such atmosphere to the place and it reminded me of my life in my early twenties. The smell of heavy burnt coffee, the stylishly sloppy second hand clothing, hair dyed unnatural colors, and carrying around books with artistically rendered covers which became accessory to your outfit as much as that interesting scarf you'd placed ever so carelessly about your person. Long past poetry slam hung in the air...

I stuck out like a sore thumb.

It wasn't my lack of visible tattoos either. I admired some truly beautiful ink while eating black beans and salmon. I don't plan on getting any tattoos of my own but well done tattoos make me smile.

And it wasn't the evidence that I'd spawned and was now wallowing in domesticity and unnatural fibers. was my old lady purse.

I bought this purse last month. I don't especially dislike the purse but I don't really like it either. My old purse wore out. This new purse cost me 8 dollars and has features that I like. It has plenty of pockets, a small outside pocket for chapstick, a built in wallet and doesn't look like a glorified fanny pack.

So what if it's about twice the size that I usually look for in a purse? I can now fit my jumbo sized old lady menstrual pads in it. And a box of tissues.

What happened to me? I used to carry around a wallet...a man's wallet. I would put this man's wallet into a small square shaving kit bag which held all my colored pencils and other artistic sundries. That bag had deeper meaning and purpose. It had character. It had passion.

What part of my being matured since the new year and decided it was a good plan to heft about ibuprofen, motion sickness medication, bandaids, a hairbrush, hand sanitizer and all my financial records? What part of my brain thought I should brandish about my belongings, in a dive that serves a delicious vegan burger, with a purse that declares "I love Metamucil!"

I hardly know myself anymore!

At least I'm not constipated.


  1. Sigh . . . .it's PRACTICAL.

    Boo !! Hiss !!

  2. You know, the older a lady gets the bigger the bag she carries is. Will we be calling you a bag lady before much longer?

  3. Aw, you can do better.

    1154 Lill Studio lets you custom-design a bag by choosing one of the styles and selecting a mix of fabrics. (People often compliment me on my Lill bags—even in New York.) I'll bet you have the skillz to eyeball their bag styles and make your own at a fraction of the price, and you could top them by adding handy pockets where they're missing.

  4. Your lack of constipation is a relief. Also, the lack of sports, which are exhaustingly dull to watch.

  5. For me, it's being call Ma'am. Nothing makes me feel old like being ma'amd!


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