Monday, February 09, 2009

Negative Space

I wasn't allowed to have my ears pierced until I was 12 years old. Dad said, "If God had wanted you to have holes in yer ears, he'd uv put'em there!"

Which doesn't explain circumcision or boob jobs for flat-chested chicks like me when other women have got huge bosoms, but I digress.

A millisecond after I turned twelve my oldest sister Lori took my annoying adolescent self to a mall and signed for me to have my ears punched clean through with a piercing gun. I carefully soaked my ears in alcohol to stave away any ugly infections and remembered to fiddle with the studs several times a day so the piercing would heal evenly. Then I displayed those awful 80's earrings with style, along with my crispy critter gelled poodle perm and my purple suspenders.


When I was 18 with the 80's finally over and I could sign for myself, I had my ears pierced a second time, because I was rebel like that.

My mother in law, who has resisted having her ears pierced in her over 80 years on the planet, once asked me how I could put in earrings without a mirror, how did I know where my ear holes were? I replied that it wasn't unlike knowing where your nose holes were without a mirror and that made her laugh.

My husband's students, the 18 year olds of today, are getting themselves in my costume supplies and going rebel like this:

Which is nothing new in the history of the world though these holes must reduce annoying wind drag in our modern times.

Every time I see these ear modifications I want to stick my finger in them and sort of whirl it around. Emo wet willy. I manage to keep myself to myself and instead just stare rudely.

I've earned my right to stare rudely. I'm an under-pierced old fart now.


  1. I would likely point and laugh, and not stare quit as much as u.


  2. I don't GET IT.

    Now if it's part of your heritage or culture to put things into your ears and stretch large holes, well that's one thing entirely. But hey, a bunch of snot-nosed, baggy-pants white boys with their caps on sideways with huge holes in their and their heads permanently plugged into an ipod on one side and a cell-phone in another while driving with their knees ... well, that's something else. Did I just age myself? I'm not COMPLETELY old-farty: I'm pierced, tattooed, and my kid has pierced ears. But they're just little holes, and he has small hoops. He thinks anything else is unseemly ...

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  5. My daughter is gauging her ears, too. I really don't care for it, but I'm not sure why, because I wouldn't have minded at all if she'd pierced her nose, eyebrow, lip, tongue, etc. I think the ear gauging just looks painful.

    As for me, I have two typical piercings in each ear; the top ones run around nekkid most of the time. I can't be bothered to take 30 seconds and put another pair of earrings in.

  6. I had to wait until I was 16 to get my ears pierced. The holes were put too close to my head. And I went in for a second hole some years later. I now have 3 holes in each year. The middle hole was put where the first hole should've been. Yet I don't wear earrings. I don't even know if I could get one in now. I do have some nice, small, diamond earrings, but I'm lazy!


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