Tuesday, March 03, 2009

For a small fee, I can name your pets too!

There is something wrong with my dumb gay cat.

I don't know what's changed in him exactly. Whenever I go into the kitchen he still throws a spastic meowing "feed me FOOOOOOOD" fit. When he's not meowing he's sleeping as usual. When he's not meowing or sleeping, his dumb gay butt is outside rolling around in the dirt and rubbing himself on my shrubberies.

Booger protects my yard, hell, the entire street, from the presence of rogue cats. Any cat in the neighborhood fears having Booger kick the crap out of it. When my cat isn't meowing, napping, rolling, or rubbing he's actually quite vigilant.

And that's what's wrong. This long haired black kitty has been showing up in my yard for a week and my cat has done nothing. She's a sweet little thing...at least I imagine she's a she...because I haven't tried to get beneath all that long fur to find out what sex she is. How does that cat manage to poop? Never mind. I caught her napping on my yard furniture in a strange fluffy position. She was allowed in my yard long enough to nap unfettered.

Hello McFly? When did my cat become such a pussy? Is my cat depressed? What does that say about ME?

No matter. It gives me hope despite my cat's moods. We've been considering adding a second cat to the family for some time now. I have these cat lady goals though I've been hesitant to cat up before because first cat is...well was...such a badass. I knew that any other cat I tried to add to the household would shortly become a bleeding fur shredded kitty treat. I couldn't, in good conscience, let that be the fate of any of my pets. Apparently that's changed.

Last month I considered adding a dog. More like, my soul and bones wanted to take home this precious and docile pit bull I loved up on at PetSmart on animal rescue day. Our lifestyle prevents us from keeping a dog at this time, cats just need less care and less poop picking upping, but that didn't matter. Her squinty yet beautiful pit bull eyes told me in might be worth it to just make it work. It broke my heart a little bit to leave her behind.

I would have named that poor puppy something irreverent.

As it is, when I find a cat that will fit in with our family instead of stealing that long haired usurper who belongs to my neighbor, I'm naming it Buttsteak.

Not just any cat will do for a name like that.


  1. Oh the Blogger has a cat named Booger,,, sort of funny, no?

    Sounds like Booger is in love. But isnt he gay? Makes one wonder what sex that black cat really is!

    I have heard from other cat owners that cats get along better if you bring them home at the same time when they are young. So when u want to replace Booger, buy 2 kittens.

    Our cat wouldnt get along with another cat. He would try to attack the other cat but because he is blind he would get the worst of it. His sister and brother live together at our friend's house and they arrived on the same day.

    Meowwwww Erf

  2. Strange. Our cat is the neighbourhood badass, too. Kicks the everliving crap out of every cat and dog or chases them down the street. However, he has a best friend cat next door who he defends. They hang out together. I think it's a tomcat thing...

  3. We still have cat wars between Huggy and Peewee & Molly. Molly pretty much just ignores Huggy but I think it has almost become a game with the other two to hiss and chase each other. Whichever one can sneak up on the other will be the winner. But they don't seem to actually fight or cause any hurt. We keep hoping that they will learn to get along or at least to just ignore each other.

  4. I think animals are like people in that there are animals they like, and ones they don't. Two of our cats were feral. Took us months to even be able to pet them. Now they're pretty domesticated. Jinx is the warden. He's like your Booger in that he doesn't like other cats in his territory. So, when another cat shows up that he doesn't fight with, they generally stick around and walla! we have another cat. All together we have three now.

    So, I would say, if you really want another cat, let Booger pick the cat. Sounds like he likes this black one, so I think you've just been adopted lol.


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