Monday, March 02, 2009

One in the hand is worth two in the bush.

As it was only slightly above frosty on Saturday, and sunny, Justin and I took off to the hills above town to walk the trail systems and breathe air that hadn't been cycled through our furnace.

It's a lovely system of trails. Because there are no trees in Bendover, and we lie on the edge of the salt flats whose air only contains the smell of recycled casino beer and no other contaminants, you can see up to 40 miles all around you. That includes a view of the curve of the earth. It puts you right in your place.

We started our hike with the steep uphill portion of the trail. The calves killing portion. We ended our hike with the long winding downhill portion which would have been the long uphill portion had we started that direction. It was the poop gallery portion.

As much as I LOVE looking at poop while I'm taking a leisurely walk, there shouldn't have been a reason to look at poop at all. The powers that created and maintain the hiking trails were thoughtful enough to supply bags and trash receptacles for things that your leashed dog...or your unleashed human...might leave behind otherwise. Start the trail, grab a poop baggie, pick up the poop, super easy and considerate too.

Not just inconsiderate but something that would really would piss off Mother Nature was the grand entry into this turd gallery. The jury prize if you will.

Someone had left poop, which I was not going to get close enough to determine if it was dog or human, sort of artistically skewered on top of a bush by the side of the trail. In the middle of 40 mile radius of no trees, poop left on a bush is obvious. You can't not notice the poop.

Since the bush was maybe three feet high I tend to think the poop leaver was human and had a sudden hike induced urge to bend over and leave a masterpiece not knowing that he or she should have procured a bag.

Or, it was a dog, who is unfortunate to have a human owner who would be considered an asshat.

I mean, how awkward is it to hold a dog large enough to poop that big over a three foot bush while it does it's business? Seriously!


  1. Yeap, dog owners need to be responsible. I guess i dont own a dog cuz i cant be resposible!

    I would report your findings to the home owners society in your area. Oh wait, that means u can report your finds to u huh!


  2. Every morning I get up and take a poo-eating dog outside. I watch him ... closely. I pounce when he squats. I clean it up, I flush it, I wash up after him. I feed him in order to make the entire process continue. He's sneaky, and I fail and he eats it (voraciously, ravenously, and at the speed of light!). So I have to be vigilant with this .... thing.

    I'll take crap on a bush if I just don't have to clean it up three times a day any more!!!!!

    Oh yeah, and I chose this. I'm going to cry now.


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