Monday, April 27, 2009

Little, yellow, different, better.

Hi. I'm Becky. I'm 34. I'm menopausal.

For the last 28 days my breasts, or those lumps on the front of my body that are supposed to be breasts, have been gorgeously and wonderfully not sore. Thanks to horse urine in pill form I am now feeling quite perky.

Yes, you needed to know this.

I didn't take these all at once just so you know.


Progestin did not just provide relief from perpetually sore boobies, but relief from hot flashes, mood swings, skin eruptions, seizing libido, fuzzy thinking, ants in my pants and the fear that at any time I'd suddenly turn into a pillar of salt.

April fresh? Yes Ma'am.

The pills are the 26 dollar a month miracle that has restored my ability to put on a super underwired, cleavage starting at your neck, completely impractical, won't be on long anyway, bra as a favor to my husband.

Which he appreciates.

Now, if only I could give him a pill that would persuade him to wear this:

2 comments:

  1. MORE IS BETTER! Take two at a time and see how good you feel. Go on! You know you want to.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Side effects caused by progesterin drugs may include:
    double vision

    Perhaps, u dont need to order those gay twins to come and do a stripagram at your house afterall.

    If u get Justin to wear that outfit,,, WE DONT NEED PICS

    Erf

    ReplyDelete

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