Monday, May 04, 2009

Guess where I'm going to shove this blender?

Now that my coffee is finally cool enough to taste, I feel able to string two words together and form a sentence.

Hopefully I get to use this new morning ability. Doesn't look great though. My "internet service provider" has gone down again. (I got the Blogger window open just in time.) Every morning for the last week they have been nonfunctioning and yesterday those computer-y bastards were no go for most of the day.

I'm going to call and gently recommend a remedy for constipation.

I called a month ago and gently reminded my ISP that I paid for a certain upload/download speed and that only receiving a fourth of said speed, which wasn't speedy enough to consistently watch Will it Blend? vids on YouTube, was a disappointing, even depressing, experience.

Our local High Speed Technician wanted to know what the hell I was downloading. Has he never been tempted to blend golfballs or a Rubik's cube? Blendtec's Tom Dickson is a sexy man. I have hobbies.

Then he fiddled on his computer some (Not Tom Dickson, my ISP Jockey) and told me I could check my speed on this website. I asked him if he would like me to read my speed test history as I'd already been such a fan of the site previously. He declined.

My speed has been much better since then...when the internets actually works. Will it Blend? You bet your donkey it will. It'll blend so hard. Don't bother me now. He's set it to puree'.

Oh looky, I'm connected again.

...and now I'm not.

And obviously now I am again because you're seeing this. That was a blessed ten seconds of connectivity.

Time for a prune smoothie dammit.


  1. I have such issues with my internet provider also. However, living in rural Texas, they are the ONLY provider for my area.


  2. I have two providers in mine and one isn't clearly better than the other.

    That's why, yesterday, there was no one to call with an issue because it was a Sunday and they were closed.

    My phone company offers internet too...but they want me to bundle and I don't want to bundle. And when I don't, they get huffy. I'm sorry, I don't want to switch to a VOIP phoneline with my landline phone company. I WANT A RELIABLE PHONE DAMMIT.

  3. I love my internet provider! I don't know who it is. But we rarely have issues and I am happy!

  4. I was go to mment but your conne ion is own I thin .

    S upid Al Gor .

  5. I spent, like, a half an hour watching "Will It Blend?" videos. I regaled my family with the blender tales over dinner—they will love the videos too. Thanks for having that obsession.

  6. AHA!
    I wasn't the only one having an internet problem.
    I think that the reason we both had problems is because they FEAR US!

    (It sounds good so let's just go with it, ok?)


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