Friday, May 22, 2009

Tingly Udders

Tonight...oh sigh...I get to go listen to Lyle Lovett sing down at our little concert hall. He sounds perty.

I'm not a huge fan of the country music scene. Certainly I've never gone to a country western concert that I've paid for myself up until now. On the whole the only aspect of modern country music I enjoy is Wrangler camel toe.

Lyle Lovett will probably not be wearing jeans.

You know who wears western jeans? This guy does.

Trace Adkins...and that is my little sister Jill putting her front parts near his belt buckle. Trace came round to our little concert hall a couple weeks ago. She had special person passes.

Now, Jill ain't short. Trace is just large. Trace is the man. Trace causes women to spontaneously ovulate.

Even I couldn't help myself upon seeing this photo and I didn't know who Trace Adkins was until Jill explained it to me. Trace had a guest spot on Real Time with Bill Maher where he asked, "When did cows stop fuckin?" when it came to the subject of cloning livestock. Sexy and and to the point. I've seen cows do that a time or two. Politically, I support an increase in cheeseburgers.

Which is why Trace is in demand at every stockyard in North America.

You think the smooth crooning of Lyle Lovett have an effect on my reproductive system?

I don't need my tubal ligation miraculously reversed, ya know?


  1. Wow, it looks like they can't afford to get haircuts and Lyle really should wear pants when he performs. Jill does look to be settled in comfortably close, and the look on her face! Where is her left hand?


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