Friday, July 31, 2009

The money shot.

I find myself in a wildly fluctuating demographic when it comes to my internet use.

It's a demographic called "Female".

What's amazing about this demographic is that there is some invisible sisterhood that is supposed to bind me to every other female's beliefs, values, aspirations and behaviors no matter how much we fluctuate. Stick together, like a long line of chain linked vaginas, no matter what part of your cycle you're in.

Ya ya sisterhood? Baa baa sisterhood.

This thought brings me to my subject.

Porn.

Or PRon for you filter savvy types. Stop eyeing your asterisk key like that.

As in, I should have a strong negative opinion against pornography because my DNA and any outward physical manifestations of my gender says I should. Men will look. Because they think with their wangs. They'll all get hooked. Plagues will descend upon us. And then any woman without breast implants will feel horrible about themselves.

Don't get me wrong here. Porn can certainly be destructive. However, it ain't a landmine fated to blow just because you stepped on it. It's use is only as healthy as the user, of either sex. If you can't get through your day without several hours of porn perusal, at home, at work, on your smartphone, at the public library, you might suspect that there is something wrong with your head along with any chaffing of any other body part you might possess. Put down the mouse and that bag of cheetos.

They say that the recession will be over sooner before later and there is one reason I believe this. The porny search terms that somehow bring up this blog. In the last few months the list of boob, booty, boner and boinking related terms showing up in my traffic information has dwindled, right along with reports that marital sex is lagging because of the economy. Only last week my terms have picked up. Much to my entertainment and amazement.

Either it's the economy or it's just damned hot outside.

Should I be horrified and disgusted that someone found my corner of the internets looking for a "vagina shaped biscuit recipe"? Or searching for new variations in preparing cucumbers? Or Boobing? Should I feel soiled?

Recently it was suggested that as a woman I should feel outraged about pornography and this person cited that it was because, according to a well known divorce website which sells divorce related products, the internet was a significant factor in 2 out of 3 modern divorces.

66% percent. Wow. That's something to think about while I play World of Warcraft, engage in anonymous cyber and web chat, email old boyfriends letting feelings of nostalgia carry me away, place my profile on married but looking websites and max out my credit card playing online craps. Oh, throw Craigslist in there too. And Ebay.

You don't like pRon? Don't want it in your home? Hey, I can support that. My support of that has nothing to do with my gender or my lack of breast implants. There is room for well thought out, logical, value systems for the stuff.

Just don't lump me in with you when it comes to your irrational and unfounded assumptions sister. I don't compare myself negatively to adult actresses because we just don't compare, even with my drooping lopsided breasts and patches of weird hairs. I'm not angry that someone I love and have a commitment with may want to engage in an occasional private chaffing session apart from me. A two dimensional image isn't adultery. PRon doesn't have power until I give it power.

I once wondered why my blog was filtered from the school servers where my husband teaches. I'm leaving little doubt today.

Oh well. Boobs.

2 comments:

  1. An excellent, open minded attitude ... and no, I'm not some drooling porn fan, but it has its place ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. 45 seconds of porn is all I need. And then I fall asleep.

    ReplyDelete

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