Monday, July 06, 2009

Price Check

The Price is Right is on.

Have I mentioned that I'd like to have a cuddle with Drew Carey? I would. It's on my bucket list. #3...grope Drew Carey. Grope him hard.

If that's #3, I don't think I'll share #1 or #2. Lord knows what you'd think of me then.

It's a lovely thing to consider groping Drew Carey during The Price is Right until we must take a commercial break between pricing games. Visualization is still possible during the geriatric scooter commercials but Vagisil commercials are fantasy downers. Especially when two of your three growing and curious sons ask why women aren't allowed to scratch their itches in public.

...and what IS vaginal odor?

The woman currently bouncing and cuddling Drew in front of the showcase wheel? No doubt in my mind she's experienced vaginal odor a time or two or three. She overbid on her showcase.

Why aren't I allowed to scratch my itches in public? You men scratch your itches. If I have a random itch, depending on my location and the location of that itch, I have to endure it. Or duck behind something and stealthily scratch. Or find a bathroom and get real itch relief.

What's proper is that I apply a cream before I go out in public to avoid rude behavior?

Screw that. I'm going to scratch out of spite.

On the Vagisil website there is information on how to explain such matters from mother to daughter. How useful. There are no tips on how to explain "down there" to my sons.

There are also no tips on how to explain why I find Drew Carey attractive and no creams to relieve it.


  1. I like Drew, too. I thought he should be the obvious choice to replace Leno.

  2. I'd like to explain the "cream to relieve your Drew Carey itch" but it would take this website from G-rated to X-rated in the blink of an eye, so I'm just going to say, "DANG! His new glasses are keen!"

  3. i used to find drew attractive until i find out he had republican leanings and then i figured we wouldnt have much in common. but thats just me.

  4. Drew has Republican leanings?

    Not after cuddling with me he wouldn't....

  5. This reminds me of a time during the early days of the SciFi network when they were doing a marathon presentation of Star Wars episodes 4-6. The sole commercial sponsor was Vagisil. I questioned the wisdom of that marketing. :)

  6. As long as he's leaning into me ....

  7. Neither Drew Carey nor Vagisil do much for me, but there is a new TV ad that is pretty good. I don't remember what they are selling but there are two guys floating on air mattresses in a swimming pool, talking about having borrowed the vacation place from "Alex." And then we see Alex come into the picture and SHE sure looks good in her bikini. That is a good ad! Too bad I can't remember what it is trying to sell.


Absent Minded Archives