Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I need a bigger shoe horn.

I'm still visiting family in Utah, and since I'm scheduling posts at my sister Jill's house, I might as well interview her husband. He's got enough balls to live with the woman and all these flaming moose. He drinks a lot.

Becky: So, Brian, I understand you support my sister and all her moose by selling western style boots?
Brian: Yup.

Becky: Get off the Wii and talk to me about boots.
Brian: What?

Brian farts...and it's not pleasant in any way.

Becky: Good lord, talk to me about boots!
Brian: Whaddya want to know? (He made sure it was whaddya and not what do you. Picky.)

Becky: I want to know if in your zeal to sell boots you've ever done something really stupid...you know...idiotic. Basically, have you been yourself while you've sold any boots?
Brian: When I'm fitting a boot I have to make sure it fits snug, but when I ask the customer I'll ask if the boot is "snugger." I do that a lot.

Becky: So you like 'em snugger?
Brian: Yes...and my boots too.

Becky: That couldn't have been an off color reference, could it?
Brian: Yes, and that's why I like tiny women. I lock them in the dressing room.

Becky: So, when you fit boots on tiny women, and you say "snugger", do you get all flustered and blushy? You are sorta irish looking. Freckles. That kind of embarrassment has to show.
Brian: No. But I do say snugger in a nice baritone voice.

Becky: You have an awfully nice mustache.
Brian: It's due to a special conditioner. It's called "soak it cider".

Becky: That's definitely not an innocent reference.
Brian: Your sister just moved and it smells like fart.

Jill: That's not nice!

Becky: What do you expect amongst all this moose?

Becky: Anything else you'd like my readers and other hangers on to know about your career in western footwear?
Brian: No, but, I do have a funny story I tell my customers about my funny blogging sister in law that lives in Bendover.

Becky: This cannot be good.

Brian: Over dinner, your dad at the table, you told us all an improper and personal sex story, which resulted in even the neighbors smoking a cigarette. It scared people.

Becky: I did? And you tell your boot customers this?
Brian: Yes, because they buy boots when I tell them where you live.



Brian: Are we done?

Brian: Get off my computer.

Jill: I got a story!

Jill: Did you know that an ambulance was at the golf course today? Somebody broke his leg...badly. He fell off the ball washer!





Becky: Help me.

8 comments:

  1. Red, white and black sneaker boots? I NEED ME SOME OF THOSE!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You will have to interview me one of these days. Anyways, keep up the good work! Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I got lost for a minute, then giggled my way back on track. loved this blog....but now I want to buy a pair of boots..........

    ReplyDelete
  4. Two customers and I didn't even tell my lewd story!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fell off the ball washer eh! Was dat dar ball washer female?

    I was golfing one time and the ambulance showed up to take a guy away who rolled a golf cart and broke his leg. It is a rather hilly course. They use the hills for ski hills in the winter. So I guess its possible to roll a golf cart but i think beer was involved. And no, it wasnt me!

    I think if Brian uses your stores to sell his boots the least he can do is make a pair for u at no charge. What would Jill think about that?

    Erf

    ReplyDelete
  6. Becky needs a lot longer pants to wear boots!! That is the rule, gotta have the pants stacked just a little bit!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your sister just moved and it smells like fart.

    That's funny shit. No argument about it! ha!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pun or no pun intended, Ms. Case?

    ReplyDelete

Absent Minded Archives