Thursday, August 20, 2009

It's a chicken sized chicken nugget.

I got my tummy patted yesterday.

And a congratulations.

Being kind of wordy I usually have witty replies for such situations but I was stunned. Afterall, it's not safe to assume that anyone is pregnant these days unless you actually see the baby exiting the birth canal.

Sure, that only gives you moments to verify a pregnancy, but what precious slimy moments they are!

Also, I don't recommend you try to view a baby exiting a birth canal without the assumptive pregnant woman's permission. Getting that permission when you don't know the woman in a very personal way is iffy.

Which means, unless you accidentally see a baby exiting the birth canal of a woman you don't personally know, it's just best to assume that the woman had a really large lunch. Asking what a woman had for lunch is in safe territory.

I am not pregnant. I had chicken nuggets and a couple of bananas and I've been fixed.

The belly patting felt kinda nice anyway.


  1. Brian got the same tummy pat on Fremont Street in Vegas, right after he got offered some weed. Betcha didn't get any weed out of it, did ya?

  2. No. I got a tube of tooth bleach.

  3. Sounds like it was good for u.


  4. I get my tummy patted too... It's depressing. I'm a guy.

    Another funny post as usual.

  5. I wasn't patted, but I was asked when the baby was due. And then just a few days later, someone else asked me if I qualified for a senior discount.

    I guess that means I'm a 'tween.


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