Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Shamu

I went to the dentist last week.

He's got fascinating male pattern baldness. No hair up there, lots of hair poking out of his collar. You look at his collar kitten like you'd look at clouds, making out shapes. Oh look, there's a sailboat!

He prescribed me a mouthwash to help with the swollen gums my hormone pills cause. My hormone pills make any number of my mucus membranes sensitive. Good in some parts, annoying in others. Insert a literal and figurative snort here.

On the upside, my teeth have never felt so deliciously smooth. Sensuous.

On the downside, the mouthwash gives me dry mouth.

Yeah, dry mouth is sensuous.

When I talk to people with my stilted hard consonants that causes, they'll look at the Diana Ross wig coming out of my mouth and think, "Oh look, there's a whale!"

At least my gums feel better.

1 comment:

  1. I hate it when people meddle with my mucous membranes...sensuous mouth...mmmmmmmm....

    ReplyDelete

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