Friday, September 25, 2009

Nylons N-nonymous

I love Facebook.

There, I said it, I love that gorgeous time suck. It makes it real easy to see how all my old high school classmates are aging. They are amusing people. They post YouTubes like this:

I'm not aging however. No need to look at my grey hairs and the crows stamping around my face when I have this photo to display. It was taken 7 years ago. I really was something before electricity.

Once upon a time I sewed this costume and auctioned it off on Ebay. It made good profit. Since then, this photo has attracted a lot of attention to my skillz.

And my legs.

Which is why a new Facebook buddy, who I haven't yakked at for fifteen years at least, was pleased to inform me that my photo has been previously featured on a pantyhose fetish website. awesome for me!

Out of legal interests I have to disclose at this point that I did not sew the pantyhose. I bought a pair of queen sized, control top, black pantyhose at the grocery store. Then I layered fishnets over these, which I also did not sew. For me, wearing pantyhose in this photo is important, otherwise the emphasis would be off the costume and on how fluorescent white I am.

Out of non-legal interests I have to disclose that at this moment only one of my legs is shaved. I was interrupted in the tub...four days ago or so...and I haven't gotten back to the razor. One of my legs is sasquatch and the other is only a bit prickly. If you see me walking with a lean, now you know why.

What other fetish sites have I been an ignorant participant to you think? "Hairy housewife" is a given. That search term pops up on my sitemeter daily, along with "shiny panties" and "thong sniffing". Smells like chicken. The thongs do that is. Is chicken sniffing a fetish? No surprise if it is.

After I get my leg shaved, I'll get right on a chicken sniffing photo.


  1. I'm sorry to say I think that video is terribly sad. While a great percentage of the population will laugh at this, and take great amusement at his angst, I see something different. This was far above a general "freak out." I do believe that if there had been something within his sight with which to cause himself harm, he very well may have.

    It wouldn't surprise me at all if this sort of thing escalates without help, and as time goes on, he ends up hurting himself more seriously in some way. Certainly hitting himself with the shoe can be seen as humourous to the general viewer, but speaking from the "other side", from the side of one who needs, searches out and accepts help, it is a VERY short leap from hitting yourself to cutting, drinking, drug use, or any other myriad methods of self-harm. I really hope they're watching over him. That boy's in pain.

  2. For some reason, the video isn't coming up for me. whaa

  3. Not only should mommy cancel his on-line game account, but maybe seriously limit his computer use too. Maybe some kind of bootcamp is in order here.

  4. I am sorry to inform u that i couldnt watch that entire video but if u went to high school with that guy why does he look so young?

    I tend to wonder, if you can seek payment from that pantyhose website for using your likeness. Think about it, you made money from the costume now its time for u to be paid for your legs as well. That pic might still make u lots of money. Perhaps enuf to start a college fund for those kids that interrupt u so much that u couldnt finish shaving your legs, lol. Think about this, when they go away to college, with all that money that u earned from your legs, and they will be about to afford to go away with all that money u will earn, u finally will have time to complete that shave. Until then, u wont really be able to shave both legs in the same session. Mother's of young boys just have to put up with so much, eh!

    Erf (the logical one?)

  5. Actually, it was my mother that called and interrupted my leg shaving...

  6. Haha! He shoved the remote control up his butt! Loser!

    Anyway, in answer to your question, I'm pretty sure thong sniffing would be a popular fetish, not so sure about the chicken.

  7. Never heard of a chicken sniffing fetish but it wouldn't surprise me if there was such a beast.

    I had no idea that was actually you. I thought you got that pic off of a pantyhose fetish website. ;)

    In a somewhat related story, this guy I work with wore shorts for what could easily be the fist time in his life. (really odd white color) One of the new guys is REALLY REALLY southern and did a double take at his legs and asked: "Boy! Them your legs or are you ridin' a chicken?"

    We all busted out laughing.

  8. Hi there! I have leap-frogged over from Boobs/Injuries/et al to Mr. McKnob to you and I love your blog. You are hilarious. However, I must ask if you are British? For some reason as I'm reading I "hear" you speaking with a British accent. haha

  9. I was born in Utah. I drink melk and I eat aigs for berkfust.

  10. You look suspiciously like an ex-girlfriend of mine. So that's what happened to you!

  11. I'm blaming my stretchmarks on her then, Lord Andrew.


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