Go to Wally and buy a housecoat already, dammit.

Attention anonymous halloween type web searchers!

A request to procure a "housewife costume" does not include a pair of my unwashed underwear in any of the styles below:

Thongs
Briefs
White cotton briefs
Tent sized briefs
Sailboat sized briefs
Slippery nylon godzilla sized briefs

Or any style NOT mentioned. Thanks for asking.

I may be behind on the laundry but you don't have to constantly remind me of the fact!