Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'm gonna put some whiskey in my swiss miss.

Like every mother out there...or any mother with good intentions anyway...I try to create sweet family moments that my children can look back on when they finally grow into self sustaining adults.

Caramels and apples were on sale. Popsicle sticks were free.

In other words...a sloppy sticky mess and second degree burns were on sale. The sugar mania is free.

I had this vision in my head, fed by mail order clothing catalogs where the square jawed models wear layers of geometric design sweaters in warm tones, that my little family will gather around a shimmering tablescape to dip gleaming crisp apples into warm melty autumn. We'll give our treats time to cool while we all pile into a horse drawn wagon, sitting on golden bales of straw sprinkled with emberlike maple leaves whilst sipping hot chocolate that didn't originate from a paper packet.

Did I just use the term "tablescape"?

That'll smack ya right back into reality.

My expectations are right where they should be. Afterall I'm working with a kid who's got yet another jar of ants in his room, another kid that thinks that "pull my finger" is the funniest joke ever, and the last kid who spent yesterday snacking on a hidden bag of cap'n crunch knockoff cereal and putting the portions that aren't crunch berries, which he'd already sucked on, back into the package because they don't contain as much artificial coloring.

The horse that draws the wagon has to lift it's tail to poop sometimes. That's probably what our caramel apples are going to look like once we're done.

That's OK. My family makes it's memories around the manure. Wouldn't have it any other way.


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