Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Shagged and Bagged

I broke things off with someone yesterday.

What I feel today is an overwhelming sense of relief. What I felt yesterday was an irrational apprehension and a hairy sense of guilt. This relationship had gone on for far too long. It had to end. I'd led them on.

Instead of sitting with such silly feelings I spurned myself into action and started tearing up my hall carpeting. That also had to be done. We bought a house with impractical white linoleum and more impractical beige carpeting. Beige carpet + three boy children + hurling cat = gross.

After a year or more I finally told the nice and pleasant smelling 80 year old JW lady that I didn't want any more visits to my door. She didn't take it well.

I've never had a problem telling other people no. Watch your kids? No. Bake six dozen cupcakes for the 5th grade power yoga team fundraiser? No. Sew you a rubber pony suit? No. Would you like some beautifully illustrated religious literature? Um...uh...I guess...sure...um...thanks. Come back soon.

Spineless is me.

Really, I'm not going to sew that pony suit. Quit whining to me about it. Whinnying? Whatever. The answer is no.

What upset me is the idea that this woman pities me for ultimately deciding that my spiritual path was my own and by her belief I wouldn't be "saved". As if coming to my door from time to time gave her a clear view into my heart, as floppy as it's been when it concerns receiving a brochure.

I may be worldly and want to commit sins but she wears orthopedic shoes.

Besides, I'll be cleansed with new carpet and paint by spring. Hallelujah.


  1. you should have invited her in for Christmas or your birthday!

  2. She'll be sitting home alone on Halloween, pretending that everybody who's eating candy and parading about in fun costumes is GOING TO HELL. The road to hell is paved with Kit-Kat bars.

  3. take it from me, and ex Jehovahs Witness, had you not sent her packing she would have never stopped on her own. NEVER.

  4. You did her a favor. And the carpet! Now THAT'S inspirational!

  5. You should have made her, and her only, the rubber pony suit. Then she might actually stop visiting on her own and not have to wait for the branding iron to hit her in the head,,,just saying!


  6. Wel, you are obviously not going to be one of the 144,000. Or do I have the wrong sect?

  7. I've got a few that I can't turn away either. One brings his granddaughter with him and makes her talk to me and I feel bad shutting the door on them because I feel like I'm hurting her feelings. It's awful. I've resorted to taking the literature and then carefully placing it in the homes of my friends and family...like under their pillows and such.


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