Monday, October 26, 2009

Stomach Bug

Woke up early to a hurling child this morning.

Anyone who is a parent type knows that hurling commences from 3 to 6 in the morning and that a portion of this hurl must either land on the floor or on the wall.

If you are really lucky your nauseated child comes into the parental bedroom before he or she has hurled in their own beds, complains of impending hurl, and then hurls a split second after the complaint. Being half awake the closest parent is compelled to try to catch the hurl in their hands, like a zoo gorilla, which only results in hurl being splattered on them as well as on the floor and the wall.

Hitting the hurl lottery includes the impending hurl scenario above and the child losing his or her bladder or bowel control whilst hurling. Hurl on the parent, on the floor, on the wall and nether fluids finding themselves in the same locations depending on what the child wore to bed.

I'm happy to announce that I'm not lucky and I didn't hit the lottery. The kid hurled once on his sheets. No complaints and no catching. Minimal odor. Only a singular drop hit the floor. No diarrhea. The sheets and blanket have been washed and dried.

But then the cat hurled something green and foul all over my new kitchen floor and the dream was lost.

That bastard.

4 comments:

  1. Yuck, those stomach bugs are the worst. I always hope the kids are over it before I get it. Nothing worse than having it at the same time. Maybe he just ate something that didn't agree with him (she said hopefully).

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  2. 3 to 6 in the morning?

    You're lucky.

    We always get the hurling immediately after they ingest hot dogs.

    That's a fun smell right there, my friend.

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  3. Our cat prefers carpet to hurl on.

    I hope your son gets better fast and doesnt share his bug.

    Erf

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  4. Holycrap... and yuuuuuck!

    I find that we tend to run our household hurling along the same lines as Mooog35. It almost always seems to involve hotdogs at 11:00pm and then for the rest of the night.

    Wow.... I think a stomach flu might just polish me off right now. Dead.

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