Monday, November 09, 2009


Alright, say this real quiet, all hushy like:

Marital aids.

Stop giggling.

Wait.  I don't have to explain what a marital aid is, do I?  I sure hope not.  Wouldn't that be an indelicate conversation?  It's not kosher for me to explain their varied uses in this venue, both practical and decorative.  Just know that they call these convenient devices "marital aids" because if you employ them without the benefit of marriage you'll end up sporting coke bottle glasses.

My parents and two of my three sisters and their respective spouses visited yesterday and it's all they could talk about.  Yak yak yak about some doo-dad called "The Thruster" or "Terminator" or "Todd the Rodd".  Something of that nature.  Along with describing any sounds, smells or tastes associated.

I'm aware my parents were adults long before I was born and were doing adult things that resulted in my presence on the planet...but when did my siblings and I get so non-hushy about "Thor's Hammer" around good old Mom and Pop?  All of us siblings got past our twenties and lost all discretion!

Now don't get the idea that I actually own something I'd give testosterone-y sounding names to.  I admit nothing.

When I was around 14 or so my Dad took me to the store to buy maxi pads because my mom was unavailable.  That was embarrassing for both of us.  When I was 30 or so my Dad took me to the store to buy maxi pads and stool softeners and I wasn't in the least bit embarrassed.  In fact, I discussed stool softeners with my Dad.   It was fascinating.

Moving on to discussing anything made out of vulcanized rubber is only logical.

So my family has either become comfortable or we've all gone a bit nutty.

They make them shaped like squirrels you know...


  1. Apparently they ALSO make them sparkly... you know, for the Twilight fans.

  2. Your thought ",,,,,I discussed stool softeners with my Dad. It was fascinating."

    followed by, "Moving on,," just got me laughing so hard that I am crying.

    Just in case no one has told u lately, u r still a nut!


  3. They sell 'em at Walgreen's now . . .

  4. Squirrels.

    First the cuteness, and now the 'I have a vibrator shaped like me.'

    Man..stupid rodents have it MADE.

  5. Dad said he needs one!!! He will be surprised when he opens his Christmas present this year!

  6. Can we swap parents? I tried this out on my mum, she vomited in the casserole.

  7. Marital aids. Really? Never heard that euphemism.

  8. You could turn your toothbrush upside down ..... but never mind. I'm getting freaky now.

    Anyway, if you're interested, I've started blogging again. Apparently it's good for my mental health, according to the powers that be. Come take a look. If you need the linky, I'll send it along. Let me know.

  9. Pssst...I've been reading all along...


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