Monday, November 30, 2009

I gots a widdle owie.

I apologize for getting around to this late today.  I had to interrupt my day to go pee in a cup.

Don't I always tell you when I have to go pee in a cup?  That's how much I love and trust all of you, my readers and other hangers on.  This flu which I'm finally getting over has resulted in my immunities taking a spa cruise and now whenever I pee my eyes water.

So I went to see my town's new doctor this morning.

When the hell did I get old enough to start seeing doctors who are younger than I am?  He's feeling up my kidneys and explaining everything he knows about urinary tract infections and I'm the old crotch telling him that this isn't my first ride on the pony, just give me a damned prescription already!  Is that a stethoscope or a pacifier?

He's forgiven though.  New doc is CUTE.  He's now christened Doctor HuggiePants for being so adorable.  I had an urge to lick my fingers to paste down his cowlick and then make him a fluffer-nutter sandwich.

Of course the old Pap Schmear question arose.

When was your last Pap?  What were the results?  Did they use a swab or a spatula? Would you classify yourself as republican, democrat, independent or other?  Who do you intend to vote for in the next election?  Better buy ammo because they are gonna take away our guns!

I may schedule my next Pap with Dr. HuggiePants just so I can see if a Fisher Price gynecology set is molded out of pink plastic.

When I'm done in the stirrups I want a sticker.


  1. Giddy up :))


  2. Why am I picturing that the doctor is Michael J. Fox?

  3. Ooooh, so close!

    I paid him in livestock.

    (Please lord, let me refrain from making a Michael J Fox pap schmear joke.)


Absent Minded Archives