Friday, November 06, 2009

Tiny little party hats.

Today is my 35th birthday.

Today is the day that I stop allowing myself to think I have a future in super-modeling.

Which kind of sucks in a way. I've always wanted to stomp down a runway wearing couture sheer enough to show off my nipples. Girlfriend went right from the office to the club. Flip the jacket, flip it!

I will never have 20 year old nipples again. My nipples are entering middle age. My nipples need support hose. My nipples need fiber.

Now that's disgusting, the way you're thinking that way about rice cakes. Stop that. At least stop before you get to the peanut butter part of your thought. Have a little self control.

Now there is pressure to give up all the adolescent things I have enjoyed up to this point. If turning 30 wasn't officially adulthood, 35 definitely is.

Obviously I'm not catering to that pressure.

Just wait until my nipples turn 40.

14 comments:

  1. I think I speak for men every where when I say

    *ahem*

    We are stilling to look so get em out and show em off( * )( * )!!!!

    Thank You! Thank You, I will be here all week don't forget to tip your server

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  2. Damn spacing on comment

    ( * )( * )

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  3. No, your original spacing is about right.

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  4. Happy Birthday woman.

    My nipples are 6 years older than yours.

    And they're spectacular.

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  5. I literally got a little giddy when I saw someone else who wrote a post about turning 35. I love it! Happy Birthday!!

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  6. Forty year old nipples ain't so bad, I know I like mine!

    It's all a matter of perspective, if you get up real close you don't realize how far they are hangin'.

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  7. I am confident you still have the nipple pics we all sent to you. I am sure your nipples still look the same, the difference is in what direction are the nipples looking...anyways, happy birthday young lady!

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  8. Becky, you slay me.

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  9. I am still 35 years old as I stopped celebrating birthdays after that age. I now just celebrate an annual anniversary of my 35th birthday. Of course it did seem a bit odd when my first son (and this last June, the second one) also reached age 35. Odd that they are both as old (or older) than their Dad.

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. Happy birthday! I found you on Dooce answering a fart question and had to check out your blog!

    If it makes you feel better, 20 year olds will never have 20 year old nipples again either.

    Mine are 46. One points west, the other southeast. What're ya gonna do? Sometimes it just goes south for the winter!

    (I'm Goddess on Training Wheels)

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  12. HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY. Dont worry about having 20 year old's nipples u have a 35 year old's mind. Besides, u can always apply ice :P

    Erf

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  13. HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY. Dont worry about having 20 year old's nipples u have a 35 year old's mind. Besides, u can always apply ice :P

    Erf

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  14. Pishaw! 35 year old nipples. Mine are soon to be 37 and I've decided that since they'll never look better than what they do now I'm going to have them cryogencially frozen for posterity. Years after I die I hope someone figures out a way to bring them back to life. Just them. They can go on tour.

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