Friday, December 11, 2009

Santa's getting skinnier.

So...those motorized hamster toys aren't going to kill your kids?

Because after you've invested 160 bucks for all the motorized hamster accessories they show on the commercials you expect a little more bang for your buck.  They'd better play with the damned things until they are a junior in college or they do indeed kill 'em.

I'm frustrated with the quality of toys this season in balance with most people's budget.

Don't get me wrong here.  I'm more than grateful to have a budget at all.  The ability to buy my kids even one present is more than many have, much less a present that has absolutely no purpose other than to provide joy.  It just seems to me, this year more than any other, that to provide quality toys under a fake or dying tree takes selling off the first born. 

Fattens the budget for the rest of the brood.  Think about it.  Also reduces milk consumption and mess around the toilet hinges.

BB guns, which are good Christmas presents, are 30 to 60 bucks.  Footballs, which aren't very good Christmas presents, are around 15.  Those toys might last a while if they made them like they used to.  Chances are they don't.  Kids will take an eye out.  Once you verify that nothing will kill your child by way of poisonous metals you have to worry about the toy you can afford breaking shortly after the three month return period.

This has made my shopping experience more frustrating than the usual holiday frustrating shopping experience...and I don't do Black Friday.  What the hell do I put into my cart when everything is crap?

On top of this, holiday advertising for the really cool toys, the toys we can't afford, is as smothering as that dumb blanket with sleeves.  Sorry kiddo...Santa Claus doesn't like you enough to leave the as seen on TV $300 life sized interactive dinosaur by the tree.  Swear to Cletus, if he did, and if that thing ever ended up outside, my kid would be in traction.

That's why my kid has been watching PBS when it comes to TV.  Not much toy licensing there, right? 

Lumps of coal just might be more useful in these times.  At least coal is shiny.


I'm consoled with day 11 of my audio advent calendar.  I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas by Yogi Yorgesson.  When he sang this classic there was no RockBand for the PS3.


  1. I love PBS for not having commercials. At this point commercials influence me more than Sebastian, but still, its a relief.

  2. My two youngest grandkids are both 9. The girl loves Webkinz but I'm really getting tired of buying just them! This year I decided for my son's & DILs to buy one main gift and neither of them had a BluRay DVD player so I did go to Black Friday and bought Sony BluRay DVD players. Now I can buy BluRay DVDs for the kids without worrying about them already having the same thing.

    Today we went shopping for kids from Pat's giving tree at the hospital and that was frustrating. We really don't plan to spend $30 each on them but what they want seems to cost in that range! Is it okay to give a 1 year old a $15 gift card for Walmart?


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