Monday, December 07, 2009

Washing my Hands

Can a person be accused of not feeling the holiday spirit if they get fed up with certain family members and kick them out of their house forever?

That's right.  Fed right up.  I am seriously tired of doing everything for them and I get nothing but mess in return.  Enough with the entitled attitude too.  Enough with the gimmes.

Without much ado at 6:30 this morning I shoved them out the door.

In a plastic baggie.

With some of their tank water.

Those fishy orange bastards will live the rest of their long and useless lives in our highschool's science classroom, pooping and begging to be fed.  They'd eat to the point of explosion and I just wasn't into being that cruel.'s wafer thin.  Better to expose them to hoardes of pubescents.

My kids asked where the goldfish went.  I shrugged.  They asked what I was going to do with the tank.  I told them I was going to clean it and put it away for a very very long time. memoriam...all my fish over the years. You'll be remembered Thor, Jussy, Scumbag, Redeye, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Jon Stewart, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, The Gert Jonnys, and The Village People.

Let the requests for a box turtle begin.


They say sugar won't over stimulate you but I beg to differ.  Day 7 of my audio advent calendar is Christmas Cookies and Holiday Hearts by The Caroleer Singers.

Put down that candy cane and step away from the gingerbread.

1 comment:

  1. OMG can you can over and figure out how to do this with my kids' friggin' hamsters?!

    Thanks in advance.


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