Tuesday, January 19, 2010

It's gonna happen in Vegas and stay with me forever.

I don't recall if I mentioned one of the more awkward features of the school district sponsored trip to Vegas my husband and I took last June. Gimme a minute and let me see if I threw this interesting detail in there.

Oooh I didn't. Good. I mentioned Liberace quite a bit. There wasn't any awkwardness at the Liberace Museum. There was only spasming joy.

Awkward came in the form of a large mirror placed directly over the bed in our tower suite at Caesar's.

No, there are no photos. Jeezum crow. We barely withstood the shock of looking at such things ourselves. I honestly don't know why you think you need a peek of our turkey cold cuts.

The idea of a mirror over the bed is much more compelling than the reality of it. Eventually a married couple, parents to three kids, has to swallow their pride, turn off the lamps and close the neon blocking drapes.

That's why the next time we make our way to Vegas we'll skip the room with the visual enhancements.

The next time we go to Vegas we have other sights that take priority.

Priority #1.  Go to that Pawn Stars pawn shop with one goal. Screw buying anything.  Screw the mirror, I want to cuddle with Chumlee.

He's just so...so...squeezable!

Like that grape jelly in a tube.  White bread.  Toasted.  Love.  Turkey cold cuts not necessary.

The idea of cuddling with Chumlee better not be more compelling than the reality of it. A prospective Chumlee cuddle has been keeping me warm.  Priority #2 in Vegas...grab a giant plastic tube of weak margarita to cool me off.  Drink the margarita first to keep things from being too awkward.

Oh Austin "Chumlee" Russell, you gold coin gnawing bowhunk! Why am I so inexplicably drawn? Oh, that's right, I want to see exactly where you have that Tennessee Tuxedo character tattoo.  And I want to dress you like Liberace.  Both could be accomplished at once.  Spasming joy.

Don't want to see the tattoo or the sequins in a ceiling mirror though.


  1. This is the sexiest post I've read all day, and I surf a lot of porn at work.

  2. He's kinda cute, but he's dumb as a stump..lol...I am going to wet my undies if you go there and meet the guys. I LOVE that show.

    And OMG at the mirror on the ceiling comment..haha..Thanks for the warning though! We might be going to Vegas this summer and that is good stuff to know...

  3. Perhaps, you can take a couple of cans of black spray paint, jump up and down on the bed and spray black paint on the mirror. Could u imagine the look on the faces of the next person that has the room?



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