Monday, February 08, 2010

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y hey!

My 11 year old son misspelled "anvil".

It certainly wasn't one of the words we practiced. We skipped the five letter words and went right to the biggies. He could blaze through words like pasteurize, and orthodontia, and theocracy. Five letter words were below us.

But nerves and not even knowing what an anvil was had him out the first round of the county spelling bee.

The thrill of out-spelling every fifth grader in his school had been replaced with the realities of defeat. Alec let go when we got back to the van. He'd always done so well at anything he'd tried to do and to mess up so early into the bee was heart wrenching.

I held him while he sobbed.

Then, to get him to grin, asked him why none of the words offered for spelling referred to any words that you'd more than likely find written on an elementary school bathroom wall.

You know, nothing shockingly profane, just those words that'll make any 11 year old in his right mind giggle.

Like bum. Spell bum. Over-emphasize B-U-M. Bum.

Or poop. Not pewp. Poop. Pronunciation is important.

Pewp did it. My happy boy, my sweet son, knew that we were in no way disappointed with him. He'd done his best. Next year he'd compete and do better.

My son also knew that you could add all manner of prefixes and suffixes to the word "poop" and all in all be in spelling heaven.

Pooptacular.

Poopariffic.

Poopitude.

Poopilation.

Prepoopilation.

Dyspoopia.

Poopendectomy.

Poopify.

Poopitations!


See...you smiled too...didn't you? You were having a crappy day and yet you were trying to add to my list in your head. I is the poop-meister.

We made up poop words all day and strengthening our family and our entries into the dork hall of fame.

What cemented our entries was putting four dollars in quarters into a sticker vending machine trying to get the sticker displayed on the front of the facebook logo misspelled as "facepoop" before we had to drive home. Didn't get one dammit. Got one that said "Taco Hell". Bleh.

Best coincidence ever though.

Anvil my ass.

6 comments:

  1. A hug for your son, peludita.

    It is not fair but I guess that's the way we learn to cope and mature.

    I was looking for a name for a new blog and you just gave me some ideas!

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  2. I lost the Massachusetts state finals (was in the top 3) on the word 'tragedy.'

    Inoric, isn't it?

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  3. I feel for your son. As a kid, I was always the last standing in the class spelling bees and went to a championship bee (can't remember which one now, it was on Okinawa), and I lost on the word carnival (there was a local event that had the word as part of the advertisement but spelled with a K for some reason I can't remember), so I spelled it karnival. Actually, I think they might have given it to me but I was so discombobulated I lost on the next word, which was something simple like "balloon," which I ordinarily have spelled with no problem. Despite my memory problems, the one thing I do remember is how much it sucked to lose, which was the point of this comment. And also, good for your kid for his awesome spelling skills, rapidly becoming a lost art.

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  4. I didn't have to wait for "pooptacular" to smile for Alec. I was smiling as soon as I heard he was going. You have cool kids: even the one who refuses to wash his pits properly and the one who insists on eating cookies for breakfast.

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  5. My hillbilly 6th grade teacher cost me a place in the county bee by insisting the word 'athlete' was pronounced ath-uh-lete. So I spelled it accordingly.

    The following year, I made the county bee only to be the first knocked out. Who knew there were two Ls in 'bulldozer'?

    ReplyDelete

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