Monday, March 22, 2010

Not taupe either.

I'm going all girly on ya.

Though I don't think that means I'll swap out stories about farts for stories about how adorable five hundred dollar handbags are...because they aren't adorable and fart stories are still hilarious...it's just that I'm becoming increasingly interested in smelling and looking feminine and less in acting like a trucker.

Sniffing truckers, it's as good of a hobby as any.  Most don't seem to mind if you ask permission first.

No offense to any of you female truckers or crossdressing male truckers out there.  You probably smell delicious if you let me sniff at you.

Check this out.  I'm wearing a matching bra and panty set today in a color that is not neutral.

...and perfume.

...and dangly earrings!

...and a real blouse designed for a female figure and not sold in the clearance section of the boys department, like most of my sweaters and T-shirts.  Wearing those shirts comes with the expectation of an elastic sprung bra and a juicy fart story with sound effects.

...Did my hair too. 

Skipped the makeup and hairspray though.  I have my limits.  I am not throwing away my Chuck Taylors.

Most important, I slapped on some of my girly hormone cream too.   I quit using my hormones because I felt better in the fall and have now realized that doing so in the midst of this very grey winter was a misguided idea.  Those low hormones.  They sneak up on a person.  Suzanne Somers is loud for a reason.  WOMAN, YOU NEED YOU SOME PROGESTERONE!  You cannot replace proper hormones with black coffee.

I look marvelous and I feel a little more human.  Female human.  Elipses female human.  Kinda frisky.

Spring couldn't come soon enough.

Even the truckers smell April fresh.

5 comments:

  1. Hmmm... are white bras not feminine?

    Crap.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Depends on the white bra. I've had some which...well...wowzers.

    I'm talking about the everyday white bra. The one you wear to do the spring cleaning.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have my own brand of hormone cream.

    It's hand made.

    Free samples!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You say free...but oh you pay. You pay.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I trust u were going out and didnt get all flashed up just for us. Not like we can see or anything, lol

    Erf

    ReplyDelete

Absent Minded Archives