Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Superpower...Chiclets.

There is no preschool this week.  There won't be any preschool next week either.  Spring break.

What this means is that for two solid weeks my four year old son is going to go frazzedly and solidly insane.  There will not be enough playdough or Yo Gabba Gabba to keep my kid from bouncing off the ceiling or requesting, every quarter hour, the sugared cereal that he saw on TV.

Frazzedly?  Is that a word?  That can also explain my reaction to the situation.  Frazzledly?  Frazzy McFrazz Frazz.  The Frazzinator. 

Life with the four year old has not been pleasant these last couple weeks besides.  We cleaned his room and found that we had to throw away his favorite toys which we have not yet replaced...that is if we felt inclined to replace them.  My boy, and this is altogether logical which proves that we are geniuses behind our frazzled natures, wrapped stretched strings of ABC bubblegum around 3 out of 4 of his Spiderman action figures.  The only reason Spiderman 4 (who is not Tobey Maguire I hear) survived this attempt at web slinging is because he was tossed and forgotten under some furniture.  This gum was stolen from the room of his older brother, chewed in nano-seconds, stealthily wrapped in all it's sticky super hero glory, and ultimately could not be removed.

Needless to say I've not gotten much accomplished past room cleaning since Friday.  Or rather, I've not gotten much accomplished that requires more thought than the five minute window I've been allowed between whines for juice or entertainment.  Do something useful for five minutes...deal with the child...do something useful for five minutes...refuse more sugared cereal...for the next two weeks.

At least on Sunday I managed to shave my legs so at least my frazzles aren't literally poking through my pajama pants.

Last Wednesday was preschool parent/teacher conference.  With my oldest kid I may have asked questions like, "Can he trace his name?" or "Does he color in the lines?" or "Can he recite his phone number?"  You know, the questions that concerned parents with new experiences ask.  Kid #1 gets read all the educational books and is supplied with proper educational toys with black, white and red coloring.  With this kid I ask, "He's ready for kindergarten next year right?  Please tell me, for the love of God, that he's ready to wipe his boogers on their walls instead of mine!"  Educational toys consist of cardboard boxes and bits of broken crayons.

Yes, he's ready.  He acts perfectly well at school apparently.

And I'm ready.  I act perfectly well when the kids are all at school. 

3 comments:

  1. Ah the joys.....

    I have had people ask me why I don't homeschool. Not that it's any of their damn business, but I NEED my kids to GO AWAY. Even if it's for 6 1/2 hours (5 hours on Wednesday because the state of Calfornia likes to fuck with us.) I would go INSANE if I had these kids in my house 24/7. As it is I HATE/DESPISE/DISLIKE my in laws, but I am counting down the days they come to visit in April because aside from the kids going to school, I have no had a break from them since August. I am so desperate I am looking forward to having the 2 people I hate more then my EX be in my home.

    Don't get my wrong..I love my demon spawn, I just love them way more when they're at school ;)

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  2. The new craze is frajazzling which is like vajazzling but you put the jewels on your vagina in crazy random patterns.

    The more you know.

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  3. FYI...I just submitted that to Urban Dictionary.

    KEEP YOUR FINGERS, CROSSED!

    ReplyDelete

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