Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Jury of my beers.

I received my third jury summons last week.

Grumble grumble dammit all to hell.

This joy by mail makes it easy to also be moody about tapping out this post on my phone instead of my beloved desktop computer with it's sufficiently large screen because I am in Utah.

Utah...where dreams go to put on modest clothing and dip their fries in a mixture of mayonnaise and Miracle Whip.

The county clerk will not let me out of this on this occasion. Can't link. Go ahead and search this blog for "summons" and "meth" and "macaroni and cheese" and you'll understand how I already put in my time as a cog in the wheels of justice.

Because I vote and I openly compared our last president to female genitalia, the powers in my county seat subject me to my just deserves. A 240 mile round trip drive and possibly a stay at a motel which might have oatmeal packets with it's continental breakfast.

My best excuse to get out of this? Jury duty falls on the same day as my son's snack day at preschool. If I'm not around to purchase and serve apple juice and crackers will the preschool class descend into the depths of anarchy? Will coloring outside of the lines become an act of low sugar rebellion? Playdough molded into projectiles? Every surface of that tiny furniture covered in Elmers glue.

Judge...I can't serve...I have to be a warrior for democracy with the nosepicking set.

Think they'll buy it?

Yeah...better just to show up inebriated.


  1. Totally works for me. I'll even notarize that excuse for you.

  2. Now you ought to look at this as an adult's time off from your normal family duties. Maybe you will end up on some juicy case that will go on for two or three weeks. Living high on the hog with the county paying your hotel and food bills. Lots of chances to catch up on your reading. See, just look on the bright side of the possibilities.


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