Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hhhhhjjyorrkkk....swallow.

If I use a euphimism about an incredibly frustrating part of my life, do you think I can get away with writing about it?

Because, if I don't use a euphimism and just right out say it, someone might find what I write and have a hissy.  I know this because I've been exposed to hissy fits before and I don't like it none too well.  These are much like the whining and screaming involved in my four year old's tantrums.  More about noise than about logic.

I might be saying too much there but I think I'm an expert in the tantrums of toddlers and I know one when I see one.

Speaking of, the real fussing, whining and tantrums of my real four year old child are getting real old.  Trying to explain why life isn't fair and why he can't play with some of his brother's toys and why one must eat a dinner type meal at the dinner hour and why it's sensible to not keep an obnoxious pile of toys in the middle of every room, is an interaction with this child I could do without on an every fifteen minute basis.  While my other two children have had annoying habits, neither were whiners, and that this last one IS has my head swirling in amazement at the fact.  What in the world did I eat during that last pregnancy to cause such nasal complaining?  Was it craving bad fast food fish sandwiches?  I bet it was.

Back to euphismisms.  I haven't come up with a truly satisfying word or group of words to express exactly why I'm upset in an ongoing way.  In August it ends and then I can use terms everyone will understand.  Maybe.  I'll have to check with someone who hasn't lost their brain cells to this particular euphism first.  Then, watch out, I'm gonna spew and it's going to stick like loogies to every surface in a ten foot radius.

After the spew I can then direct my frustrations in a more satisfying way.

A way which may or may not include D batteries, chocolate and a long hot bath.

I'm just not dealing with my euphemism well anymore and it's become a giant vacuum in the room.  It sucks my creativity and it's caused me to jump on some decisions in my life that I was hoping to have more wiggle room in making.

Like...I dunno...moving from our current corner of rural casino hell to a location that affords me and my family the possibility of not drowning in a corner of rural casino hell.  Yeah, in this economy when my husband is a public school teacher dependent on public tax dollars who doesn't feel qualified to coach an income producing athletic program.  Shit.  When I was a little girl all I could dream of was becoming a 40 year old cocktail waitress in a land where there are no trees.  It would be something to live in a place that has a DMV closer than 120 miles.

Or rushing to finish home renovation so at the very least we can move to another residence in my rural casino hell that has a room where children can be quarantined and mom can sew, or produce other works that enhance my adult sensibilities, without overhearing hours upon hours of the noise of mass produced anime and Mythbusters.

Or finally having the opportunity to explore any of what makes me a whole human woman after sixteen years of 24/7 childraising, by my choice and by our sacrifice.

Also, my husband's mother died on the 30th.  That's not the euphimism.  You know the euphimism has got to be worse when I pull this occurance this far down into the post.  It wasn't exactly unexpected even though she was far too young.  My husband agrees on both parts.

Trying to find a way to write a blog post first thing in the morning, over the rumbling of the hoover, is like trying to ring a bell around a cow's neck by shoving your arm up it's backside and trying to yank on it's uvula....hindered by clogged loogie.  Near impossible, ya know?  So I may or may not get to it in the afternoon after I've had my fill of everything else.

I am starting to feel better about it all though, writing it here, even if I can't flesh out my euphismism just yet.  I wasn't sure how to do such a thing before today and I still don't think I was entirely successful at this attempt.

That's OK though.  One brick at a time tears down a wall.

Thanks folks.  For bearing with me.  I appreciate it

4 comments:

  1. I am unable to read between the lines and understand what the vexatious situation that lasts 'til August might be. But I commend you on finding four different ways to spell "euphemism"! That takes real talent.

    But that whole human woman business, that's good stuff. The euphemism is making you ponder that sooner than planned, or the euphemism gets in the way?

    Hang in there!

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  2. Meh...I didn't spell check.

    And the euphemism does both.

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  3. I am sorry about the loss of Jason's Mother. It is sad when someone dies too young. I experienced that with Annie's death at just 62.

    As to the rest of this post. Huh? It sort of sounds like you might be moving to another location. Then it sounds like maybe you will be moving to a different house but in the same town. I also think this fall your kids will all be in full day school so that in itself will change your House Wifing (is there such a word?) day.

    I guess we hanger-oners (how about that word?) will just have to keep hanging in here awhile longer to find out.

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  4. I think I know what the euphemism is guarding . . .

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