Thursday, June 17, 2010

Call the narcotics dogs and slash the tires!

My son got batshit high yesterday.  (Yes, batshit is the proper term.)

I did not approve of his drug use.  Not at all.  In fact, I was pretty damned angry and frightened about it.

No, not my 16 year old son.  It was my boy who will be turning five on Saturday!  He got so wasted!  Oooh the day we had yesterday.  It was exhausting.

See, this kid of mine, this logical kid who destroyed his favorite spiderman toys by wrapping chewing gum "webs" around them, thought it would be a good plan to take something for his summer cold.  Except for me, everyone in my family has been suffering with a cough.  The hacking at my house is loud and deep.

So my kid took two chewable carsick tablets out of my purse and medicated himself. 

Motion sickness pills are great for the several long car trips back and forth to Elko in the coming weeks.  Keeps the kids from puking either inside or outside my fabulous mini-van.  Turns out they temper a cough too.

It also turns out that instead of making my five year old son sleepy, two Bonine tablets cause him to hang off ceiling fans, climb on bookshelves, screech, eat like a horse, screech some more and then scream just to top off that last bit of screeching.

I couldn't figure what was up with my kid all morning. 

So when he told me he took "cherry medicine pills for his cough and throat", a nice conversation with poison control was in order.

Thank you Terry at poison are very sweet and I loves you.  You told me that two to four tablets at my child's weight will only make him an obnoxious lush.  Any more than that and I would have had to take him and his lamp hat to a hospital.

...and I've removed all medications from my purse and put them in a highly secure and secret location.

After a day like that I only barely resisted medicating myself with a long island iced tea.


  1. Oh no... My youngest had me calling poison control twice! Once I came in the room to find what was left of my Aloh Vera plant chewed up and on the floor. When I called Poison control they assured me that the liquid would not hurt her and then warned me (laughing)that the leaf itself was a strong laxative. Great.

    The second time I was dying my hair and when reaching down for the bottle, she had it in her mouth like a baby bottle. Poison control again. Thank goodness it was peroxide based.

    My son never put me through shit like that...

  2. Eugh. I've only ever called the animal poison control line. I'm not looking forward to any child-related emergencies. (And, because I know he's fine, that was HILARIOUS. =)

  3. How scary! My son got into my mother's narcotic prescription when he was 3 years old. She had to call 911 and have him taken by ambulance to the ER. They had to give him that charcoal stuff to flush the medicine out of his system. I was on a cruise ship near the Bahamas and she didn't tell me until we got back! I was so pissed.

    Anyway, I know how scary it can be when they do things like that. I am glad he's o.k.! Go enjoy your Long Island Iced tea ;)

  4. Oh yeah, forgot about the one time I had to call Poison Control. My son left a Lysol spray bottle where my daughter was about 2 could reach it. I come in to the kitchen to find her sucking on the nozzle. Not knowing if the nozzle was open, I smelled her breath. Sure enough, lemony fresh....Oy vey! LOL


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