Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Do not pick your nose and then wipe it on your mortarboard.

Tonight is my youngest son's preschool graduation.

Wait for it.  Now listen.

Awwww....collective awwwww.  That's so cute!

Except it really isn't.  At least I don't think so.  My kid still hasn't processed the concept that preschool ever has to end.  As far as he's concerned we're going to go back to preschool tomorrow to play with his friends, especially the friend with the pointy stump.  My little boy's thoughts are a perpetual snack day.

I got pressured into bringing a green salad to this event. 

Friday is the last day of real school.  Friday is high school graduation.  I usually go to that event as my husband has tried to prepare these youths to function in society.  Afterwards we take some sort of food to a party where the intent is to get the social studies teachers as drunk as you can possibly get them.  If anyone has a recommendation for a dish that will go with clamato, screwdrivers and Michelob, lay it on me.  I'm thinking frozen meatballs warmed in bottled teriyaki speared with toothpicks.  English and science teachers are not picky.

What's backwards about this whole deal is that I usually lose my poop around the time the high school slide show is presented and they show baby pictures of all the graduates, who aren't my kids, and I won't lose my poop at this preschool graduation because I think the whole deal is too precious to function.  Every year they turn back on the gym lights and because a graduation is a mascara worthy event for my otherwise fresh faced existence, half of it will be running down my face.

I'll bring my camera to tonight's cuteness because I'll stand out if I don't.

I'll skip the camera for high school graduation because I'll be tempted to take candid photos of attendees wearing tube tops or daisy dukes.  You know me well enough to know I'm not joking about that one.

Though I have to admit that if I owned a tube top and a pair of daisy dukes I'd wear that outfit tonight and Friday.  The gym gets awful hot.  There will be no collective aww about my choice of attire.

1 comment:

  1. I'm wearing a tube top and daisy dukes right now.

    Sending you pictures.

    Ten bucks says you cry anyway.


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