Friday, June 04, 2010

Now used on the space shuttle...

When winter lasts much longer than it should, and there is never a time when you want to uncover your body for fear of freezing parts of it off, you procrastinate shaving your legs until June.

My legs had a passing resemblance to Oscar the Grouch until today.  This blog post has been sponsored by the number 4 and the letter P.  P is for in without my carpet I'm damned pale.

4 is for four...I don't have anything pithy in choosing that number.  Maybe there is something Freudian about it that I'm missing.  You can expound on that if you like.

Justin, my oblivious husband, has also become lazy with personal body hair removal.

That is, he started his summer beard in December.

I know what you were thinking.  I'll play into that a little bit. 

It's amazing I was able to remove his velcro like hold off me this morning.  We usually sleep butt to butt.   I was forced to shave today because pulling ourselves apart resulted in epilated spots causing glaring contrast blindness and embarrassment.   It was the rip heard around the world.  We weren't even sleeping naked.

Following that little admission, on the theme of body hair, my sixteen year old son is carefully grooming his goatee so it closely resembles the letter W sprawling across his chin.  This is an improvement on the letter U goatee he'd been sporting up to this point.   He says his friends think his facial hair is dark and awesome.  I say his friends are retarded.

That son of mine, the hair gene certainly didn't skip him.  This is one of the reasons why I make him vacuum his bathroom before he mops it down with disinfectant.

If I'd been thinking I could have started a family business making toupees.  Absent Minded Hairpieces. 

Imagine the sidebar ad I could post on that'un.

1 comment:

  1. I'm from Arizona I have no concept of the word "cold." I shave my legs weekly because if I don't it feels like I'm sporting barbed wire on my legs. As for you son's goatee, I'm not a fan of goatees, they sorta looks like a pubic bush growing on your chin, just sayin'.


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