Monday, June 21, 2010

What I wouldn't do for a short skirt and a cool breeze.

This is the time of year when my blog here begins showing up on search engines under the term, "Is it safe to put a popsicle in my vagina?"

Being the sort of knowledgeable and helpful person that I am, I address such a question HERE.

Weather's getting warm, ain't it?  In most localities women aren't allowed to go fully topless to cool off so other extraordinary measures are required.  Skip the popsicle with the stick.  Just grab a few ice cubes and cop a squat because they'll melt for sure.

To further the public service message and to do my part in the battle against yeasts, I'll go ahead and list other items which should not be used to cool a personal-like sort of way.

Don't use the hose in the yard. 
Don't use the hose in the yard with any sort of sprinkler attachment.
Don't use the hose in the yard with THIS sprinkler attachment especially.
That's a no on the handheld fan.
Quit standing like that in front of the refrigerator.
Quit sitting like that in your car with the direction of your air conditioning vent pointed like that.
Do not put your McDonald's iced mocha between your legs at the drive-thru.
Do not sit on the grocery store's freezer bins like that.
Sugar cones get mushy that way.
Bottles and/or cans of beer won't get mushy and that's not less filling.
Leg of lamb, seriously?

It's not even July yet.  The warning's got to go out before the weather turns hellish.

Just wait until November when the weather gets chilly...I'm warning you all against corndogs.


  1. It's time for some crotch pot cookin', I tell ya!

  2. My sister's new truck has air conditioned seats.

    Today on the way to the store, while airing our "areas" we were trying to think up names for it.


    We had a few more, but I don't remember them. In any event...if you need to cool your vagina, I recommend getting a Lincoln Navigator with a/c in the seats ;)


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